Finally it is Saturday!

After being missing in action for close to 3 years (time does fly) I have decided to resume blogging. Thanks to all who read and commented on this blog and hopefully will join me in the new one.

The new blog is called The Daddy Blog which if it goes to script will be about my view of parenthood.

Dad's favorite picture so far

My favorite picture so far!

Next update will be over the weekend (Saturday morning). By then I hope to post my thoughts on the delivery, just in case anybody is still interested!

And of course some posts about the new addition to my family will be forthcoming as well.

Some more pictures and update

This is a good close up of him.

Mommy and baby are doing well. But both Nikki and myself are both sleep deprived. I try to get up and help whenever she has to breastfeed which seems like every hour on the hour. Hour after hour. Hourly. Each hour. You get the idea.

He is feeding well though and seems to have a voracious appetite. Along with his looks he gets his appetite from me!

Here is a short video clip mere minutes after birth. You can see his fingers heading straight for his mouth!

Baby Pictures

I know that I have been neglectful lately with the updates but I have been really busy and tired. I will just post some pictures here for your viewing pleasure until I get a chance to post my views on the birth and my thoughts in general so far.

Here is the first picture. I did tell him to watch the finger sucking thing!

You can also go to Nicholas' web page (click here) to see a few more pictures. Once there follow these instructions:

Month: Select November

First 3 letter of mom's last name: Type "Max"

State: Select Florida

Click tab "Find the Baby"

On second screen Click on "Nicholas, M" and enjoy! Use the arrows to move to the next picture and scroll down to view and sign guestbook!

He is here!

He is here. At 6:36 pm. 8 pounds 2 ounces. 21 and 1/4 inches long.

Already he is sucking his finger!

Will post more about the delivery later along with my thoughts. This may take place over the course of several posts. And yes pictures will be forthcoming as well.

Bit hectic but will give an update soon.

While she sleeps

Time for a quick update while she sleeps. The doctor gave Nikki some pitocin to help speed the labor along. They checked her this morning and she was still about 2 centimeters. They attempted to break her water and that was painful, for me! Looking on as the medical staff did this, I thought of how primitive and cruel it appeared.

It is impossible to physically feel all the pain she is feeling and I have to assume she is telling me the truth when she talks of the extent of her pain. But I can have no doubt when I see her facial expressions. The pain on her face tells the story as she screamed out loud without any sound at all coming from her mouth. But I heard the scream anyway. Her facial expression gave it away. That tells the whole story more than words.

Somehow though, I still feel her pain, just not physically. I can’t say I am the squeamish type. However I squirmed and cringed a couple of times as I watched. And hearing my wife inquire about what pain medication are available tugs at my very soul. Anything that a Tylenol or Advil can’t cure makes me feel for her terribly.

I said before and will echo it here again; the whole labor and delivery process is intense, invasive, impersonal and intimate all at the same time. Watching the doctor and nurses perform their exams while assaulting that which you consider sacred make me want to yell “What the hell is the matter with you people?”

And this is just the beginning part of it.

A few more observations:

I think the delivery room scene has changed dramatically. Who would have thought that delivery rooms would include a place for Dad to sleep, wireless access, DVD players, cell phones and laptop for texting and emailing?

Labor and delivery is synonymous with torture. On top of all that pain she is feeling she can’t eat or drink. I am sure she is hungry since she has not eaten all day but she cannot have any food until the baby is born. Ice chips and sips of water are all that she can have. Great deal of pain, denial of food, administering drugs and the occasional sip of water seems like a tactic for torturing spies!

The downtime (time between contractions in the early stages or while she is resting) is difficult for me and frankly drives me nuts. I am sitting here wondering how I can be of help and trying not to annoy my laboring wife.

Nurses have been great. Talk about a career that makes a difference. They have been so patient with me so far. I have gone a least ten times already to the nurses’ station this morning for a variety of things.

Just going to the bathroom two feet away is quite a task. With all the IV tubes and monitors and a bunch of other things I don’t even know what they are, moving is quite involved.

Not surprised at anything really just in awe. For a guy, this is a totally different experience depending how involved you choose to be.

Not sure if my attempts to be of help makes a difference but I will try anyway to continue being supportive.

Quite a few phone calls. Everyone is offering a word of prayer on our behalf. This is refreshing.

PS: The nurse checked again about 11:30: 3 centimeters. Looks like it is going to be a long day.

Hospital Check-in

From our appointment this morning Nikki is still 2 cm dilated and 50 per cent effaced. So doctor’s orders are that tomorrow is THE day. One way or the other Nicholas will be making his entrance even with some intervention from the medical staff. So we are checking into the hospital from tonight. In fact this blog is being written our very own private hospital room where the birth will take place.

Before we left, we grabbed some Tostitos and salsa dip, Crunch n Munch and a bunch of other snacks; some pillows, checkers, a bunch of DVDs and the laptop of course. Driving here was a bit hilarious just like the other morning when we had the false alarm. It was like a leisurely stroll; none of that mad dashing around that I read about in the various baby magazines or portrayed on television. I think it felt more like we are going on a trip.

When we got to the hospital I grabbed the bag from the car, all five of them. One bag was for the groceries, one for the laptop, and one each for Nikki, Nicholas and I. I had to lug all of these all the way from the parking lot to the third floor while Nikki carried the pillows. One bag around my neck, one over each shoulder, one hand dragging the Pullman and the other bags clutched in the other hand. (Okay Nikki could have carried at least one bag but I refused because it makes for a better blog entry!)

Anyway we are now checked in the hotel room (I mean hospital room), watching tv and set to get some rest for the big day tomorrow. This is it, for real this time.

More due date myths

The calls are pouring in. Everyone expects something to happen soon. While we wait I think I should expound on an earlier post about the due date myth. I found out that there are really two due dates. One due date is based on the ultrasound results while the other is based on the date of the last menstrual cycle. I think that due date in general refers to the date determined by the last menstrual cycle (don't quote me on that).

The due date of November 20 was based on the last menstrual cycle. But based on the ultrasound the due date was the 23rd. So depending on what you chose to use, Nicholas is either 2 or 5 days past the due date.

Which leads me back to my earlier conclusion that due dates are useless, unless of course the baby actually comes on that date. In fact, only five per cent of babies actually come on the due date.

Nesting and accomodations for one!

Nicholas is showing no sign of being ready to be born. I suppose it is only fair since we don't have that "feeling" like Nikki will be going into labor anytime soon. I am not sure how we should be feeling but Nikki is still very much active. Sure, there is the nesting theory to which I alluded earlier but she has been in this mode for over a week. Just yesterday she was making some more banana bread and fried dumplings and singing Bob Marley's "Stir It Up." I don't remember the nesting period extending for more than a week in anything I read.

Well, I can't say that I blame Nicholas for delaying his arrival. Think about it. Do you voluntarily check out of all-inclusive hotels (or cruises for that matter)? You know, the ones where there is food all day long, you can toss the towels on the floor for someone else to pick up and you basically live in grandeur. So I ask you again, do you check out voluntarily or do they have to get some 300 pound over sized man-tank named Tiny to throw you out? That is why Nicholas is so hesitant to leave. He has all-inclusive accommodations all to himself where he enjoys fried dumplings with callaloo and salt fish or ackee and salt fish or oxtails and rice and beans. If he leaves he will have only milk. Though the packaging is appealing who wants to give up all that exotic foods and luxury?

False Alarm

Well Nicholas is still not here yet but I do have a story to tell. This morning around 2am Nikki poked me in the ribs to say she has been having contractions and feeling as if we should call the doctor. I remembered that we should time the contractions so I got my cell phone which doubles as a stop watch and timed the contractions. They were less than three minutes apart so we made the call. He asked some questions and they said come on in!

Driving to the hospital at about three in the morning felt just like we were going on an early morning stroll. It seemed no different than going to the mall or just hanging out. Well, we got there and Nikki was wheeled in a wheelchair. We checked in and she was hooked up to a series of monitors that tracked the baby’s heart rate and the strength of the contractions. Turns out the contractions were pretty mild, kind of like a level two on a scale of one to ten. But they were consistent both in terms of time and intensity. She was hooked up to some IV and that seemed to make the contractions intensify.

Well as they monitored Nikki and the baby, I was sitting there in a rocking chair taking in the scene. The nurse, who was quite nice and thought this was “it”, had a bunch of forms that needed to be signed and questions that needed to be answered. I don’t understand why they choose this time to ask questions and sign forms. With labor pains and having a bunch of tubes attached, signing forms seems like the last thing that should be on anyone’s mind. And, none of the questions were directed at me except when she asked “what is the name of your husband?”

Well the nurse eventually told us to get some rest (okay, she told Nikki to get some rest) at about 4 am or so. Well, Nikki tried to get some sleep though I doubt she got much while I tried to nap on the little sofa in the room. That was a bit uncomfortable (next time I need to bring a pillow) but I got some shut eye anyway. I woke up to voices in the room around 8:15am.

The doctor showed up. He did an exam and said that we are still 2 centimeters and that despite the contractions (which by now had stopped) we experienced false labor. So we were sent home. The explanation was that we may have had a touch of dehydration that caused the contractions and the IV gave her the necessary fluids that re-hydrated her. We left the hospital shortly after 8:30.

So still no Nicholas but at least we had a dry run. I did tell Nicholas he cannot show up on this Saturday because the soccer games were on (though with Manchester United losing and Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool winning it really was a cruel morning). So he was just following instructions.

In between the monitoring of the heart rate and contractions and the nurse coming in and out of the room, I sat quietly taking in the scene. I remember thinking that the process is so invasive; impersonal and intimate at the same time.

And surreal. Definitely a hint of surrealism. The whole time I sat there it just didn’t feel like this was the time. So when the doctor sent us home I wasn’t totally surprised. I was worried there for a moment that Nikki would get emotional but she seemed to take it in stride and was fine.

It also felt surreal because I was so calm throughout the process. It didn’t feel like we were having a baby. There was no rushing around frantically like a chicken without a head. There was no forgetting the wife and making it half way to the hospital before I realize it. Well it was a dry run. Let’s see what happens when it is the real thing!

Nothing to report............ still waiting

While we wait, the phone calls are pouring in as friends and family call in, expecting that Nicholas would have made his much anticipated entrance by now. And what is more funny is that if someone calls and there is no answer, the assumption is that we are in labor and calling the hospital is the next step.

This has brought up an unexpected situation. When Nikki does go into labor, I (in my new role as Communications Director) will have to spread the news. One bit of advice that I received was to have a V.I.P list of people to call. Problem is that everyone will want to be on this list. Not sure how I will notify everyone while getting to the hospital and attending to my laboring wife. Talk about challenges.

Hopefully I will do a good job keeping the information flow going. Thank God for technological advances. With email, cell phones, text messaging and the Internet, I am sure that I can keep everyone up to date. Heck, I am even planning on blogging from the delivery room. (Honey hold off on the next push until I make this post!).

Meanwhile somehow I find the wait mildly exciting. Sure we are all anxious but Nikki and I are taking it in stride. We still do movies and other things that are not too demanding on her legs. In fact, for a couple that is expecting any day now, we are quite active. I figure if we have to wait on the little tiger, we should enjoy ourselves while at it.

Will make another update later.

And Still We Wait

That's right; we are still waiting.

Next update will be tomorrow morning unless we go into labor tonight in which case I will make a post before leaving for the hospital. I will also bring the laptop and make some posts in between pushes.

Happy and Safe Thanksgiving to all.

Still waiting

We did not go into labor during the night. So still nothing. Oh, but we did practice our pushing last night. Here is the sneak peek:

In my best drill sergeant voice: "Come on Maxwell, you push that baby out of there. For crying out loud, everyone is waiting to see this baby. What's the matter with you! Push! You are supposed to be having a baby not trying to be one! One, two three go go go! You call that a push I've seen cats push harder than that!"

Obviously I take my coaching role seriously!

Later we will review our breathing exercises and our labor dance.

A little more reflecting

Hurry up and wait. That seems to be the order of the day. It is funny how we rush to get things in place before his due date. Installing the car seat, assembling the furniture and the countless other details are meticulously put in place. And yet the due date arrives but only carries with it more anticipation. So we wait.

And while we wait, I take the time to reflect. I am not over anxious or nervous as time winds down. My only concern is Nikki getting through labor and childbirth. The traumatic effect that childbirth has on the body is not lost on me and I am really hoping that it will go smoothly.

But, just like Nikki I can't wait to meet Nicholas. If only he would show up!

I will type another update tomorrow to let you all know whether we went into labor during the night. Who knows, I may even post a few blogs from the delivery room!

Updates and the nesting phase

Well, today is the due date but Nicholas is not here yet. At last count, the doctor said we are now 2 centimeters dilated but still 50% effaced. Nikki thinks she will go into labor on Thursday which is Thanksgiving Day. She is of the opinion that Nicholas wants to make his entrance on this particular day so she is trying to let him know that Thanksgiving Day will not always be on the 22nd of November. So far it looks like Nicholas is not paying attention.

From all indications, pregnant women close to labor go through a nesting phase where they may clean the house, or do all the laundry or something along those lines. Well I think we had our nesting phase. On Saturday, I had to run out for a bit and when I came back the house had the unmistakable aroma of chicken fresh out of the oven. And then on Sunday, she baked some more. Not only chicken but some really really sumptuous banana bread. For the last two days this wonderful scent punctuated the house. That is two days in a row. For someone who hasn't cooked in over a year that can only be attributed to the nesting phase.

Car Seat Installed

Last Saturday, we decided to install the car seats. After doing so, we looked at them and thought it doesn’t feel or look right. I heard someplace that help is available from the local fire department with installing car seats. So we navigated our way to a nearby fire station to have someone there give us a hand. When we walked in, Nikki was holding her stomach. One firefighter walked in as we were explaining the reason for our visit and he his face immediately grew pale. Once he realized that we were just seeking help with the car seat installation, he breathed a deep sigh of relief and said “Whew, I thought you were in here to say that you were going in labor!”

Anyway, we had all available fire personnel helping with the car seat installation. {Quick, how many firefighter does it take to install a car seat?}

One guy gave us the whole story of how he installed his car seat when his son was born.

Thankfully, no emergency calls came in while we were there.

PS We also have the pack n play ready and waiting. Any day now and he should be here…….

Pregnancy comparisons

In most of my pregnancy readings, I always see a caveat that reads something along the lines of “All pregnancy are different and different women will react differently”.

That rang true for me when a week ago me and Preggers rendezvoused for lunch at a nearby Chinese restaurant. The waitress that tended to us was pregnant but she was hustling and bustling up and down the restaurant taking orders, bringing out food and taking care of her patrons.

We asked her the typical question that everyone asks pregnant women “When are you due?” Turns out this pregnant waitress is past her due date. Her due date was two days ago. But you would never know it. She was a-hopping skipping and a-jumping all over the place. I found that amusing considering that Nikki cannot walk two feet without being totally exhausted!

PS We went back a few days after and was told that she had given birth!

Some updates while we wait

39 weeks! The natives are getting restless. Nikki is just about ready to give birth. In fact, I think she has lightened some; just a tad bit. But according to the doctor we visited today, we are 50% effaced and 1 centimeter dilated. Sounds familiar? Those are the exact specs as the last time I posted an update. In essence, the boy has not moved one bit. The talk around the water cooler is that Nicholas is aware that the due date is November 20 and he is sticking to it so as not to throw his dad off!

Despite the endless wait for Nicholas’ arrival, I think that I will still be caught off guard when Nikki goes into labor. As it stands, I am now so comfortable with Nikki being pregnant that it sometimes escapes me that she is due to give birth soon. I have gotten used helping her get off the bed or just to get up (I have a routine for that now), her needing a Zantac or Tums, going to the doctor visits and all the other things that comes with being a supportive husband.

Ironically, while I am stuck in this mode, Nikki is counting down the days to delivery.

Pregnancy update

Some more updates for you:

Latest doctor’s appointment revealed that Nikki is still one centimeter dilated but the cervix is 50% effaced. For a vaginal delivery, the cervix must be 100% effaced (or thinned out) so she is half way there.