Daddy's Joy

Nikki just came back from Jamaica after spending the weekend there. Of course she took Nicholas with her and thus deprived me of my boy for the weekend. (Put another way, “she tek mi pickney an gaan whey a farrin fi de weekend yuh nuh seet!)

Anyways while there she said Nicholas wouldn’t move. She wanted her Mom and Aunt to feel him move but nothing. And even though she was eating all the good food (mango, ackee and saltfish an' breadfruit wid fried dumpling, yeah mon she call an’ a showoff de whole time she dung deh) he wasn’t moving an inch. Of course, she came back and once back in familiar surroundings he starting traipsing all over Mommy’s uterus. Last night as we huggles (that’s a cross between hugs and snuggling), he started moving. Again, Nikki thought that he was moving at the sound of my voice (or because we were talking about him!).

It seems he is developing his own personality but really he was just adding to his daddy’s joy!

Pregnant Belly

I would look at Nikki sometimes and say “I can’t believe we are pregnant” or I would point at her visibly growing tummy and say “Yeah; you are definitely pregnant!” And, often times it does seem surreal. Especially remembering the early stages when we knew we were pregnant but she wasn’t showing. She would look in the mirror and say well my belly isn't showing. Now she looks in the mirror and says my belly has gotten big. (If there is one thing I learned is that pregnant ladies worry about everything. My belly isn’t big, my belly is getting big……….. Okay maybe she isn’t worrying but being observant………. :)

Anyway, she had taken a picture of her belly at 5 weeks I think and now approaching the 25th week she wants to have another belly shot. Hopefully when she does I can convince her to let me post it on here. It should make for an interesting comparison!

More church experiences

Last Sunday we visited a new church close by where we live. This one was small and intimate like we are used to and of course they asked all first timers to stand and introduce themselves. So I stood up with Nikki and Angeline. I introduced myself, then said this is my wife Nicole and daughter Angeline and then quite proudly rubbed Nicole's stomach and said "And this is Nicholas!" This drew a few chuckles of appreciation from the members and the pastor even said "Yes yes that is Nicholas huh. I like that!" Needless to say I stood there all pleased with myself...

More baby kicks.........

An Anonymous poster under Baby Kicks mentioned about the baby moving and kicking. I wondered about that a few nights ago. I asked Nikki if it hurts or feels weird or anything like that. I imagine that as he grows and pushes stuff out of the way the uterus will be growing and stretching to accommodate. Truthfully, thinking about it makes me cringe just a little since I just can’t wrap my mind around it. Truly a miracle this whole child birth pregnancy thing. And why women have the babies I guess……….

Finally Angeline felt the unmistakable movement from Nicholas. Nikki was eating, ice cream I think, and he was just all over the place. That kid would not settle down probably going “Gimme more gimme more!” And all that movement meant there was no way Anga couldn’t feel him. She had this huge smile on her face.

But interesting for me is that Nikki said most times at night as we get ready for bed, she notices that when I speak he moves. Probably in response to hearing daddy. Whether that is true or not, that is what I believe and I am holding on to it. So now we know that Nicholas moves when Mommy eats sweet stuff, ice cream in particular and when he hears Daddy’s voice! So I think every night I will go “Nicholas” in my deep baritone voice……………. (Awright, even I know I don’t have a deep baritone voice but just let me have this one!)

Baby Dreams

In response to Nikki’s comment under Baby’s First Outfits, while she was dreaming of having the baby and not having any clothes to take him home in, I was busy dreaming that Nicholas and I were getting ready to take on the Italian soccer team (yes the team that won the World Cup last year in Germany). I couldn’t make out Nicholas’ features or even how old he was in the dream but I just knew it was him and I. But, I could make out our opposition. Totti, the super skilled Italian player and Luca Toni, the man-giant were lining up against us in the dream. Was that weird or what!! So while Mommy is worrying about outfits we are getting ready to kick butt!!

Can’t wait for Nicholas and me (pardon the bad grammar) to be watching the soccer games or me explaining the game to him……………..

Baby's first outfits

Yesterday we bought a couple of outfits for Nicholas with the help of Angeline. She helped to pick out the outfits. Now we may be a tad bit early for this but at least now we don’t have to worry about what he will wear home from the hospital. :) This was actually cool. Here are the outfits.

Baby kicks

Feeling the baby move is quite exciting. The other night I felt him move for a while to the point I was wondering if it would prevent Mommy from falling asleep (more on that conversation later). I also think it is funny how when Nicole is eating there is a reaction from the baby. I imagine when there is something sweet involved it moves a little bit more. And I find it interesting that when you put your hand there it moves as if it can sense that there is something there. I would like to think that it knows that it is daddy and needs to move. Of course if there is no movement then the explanation is simple: he is asleep! Nikki told me the other day that he seems to be a little predictable in his movements. Like at certain times of the day he is more likely to move than at other times. I think she said that he moves later in the night and also later in the day while she is at work.

Angeline actually likes to feel the baby move though I suspect she likes the idea of feeling it move. Nicole and I are not 100% convinced that she is actually feeling the baby move but if she says she is then that is fine by me. It keeps her excited and involved in the process. And, most of the times when the baby moves seems to be when Nikki is at work or at night when Angeline is already asleep in bed. But hopefully one day Nicholas will give a nice kick for her to unmistakably say she felt it.

And of course there are times we want to feel it move but it doesn’t cooperate. So from time to time we would apply gentle pressure to Mommy’s stomach to see if we can get a reaction. Sometimes nothing and other times there is what I think is a fierce kick to say “Hey knock it off!” Of course you can’t blame Nicholas now can you?? Imagine there you are sleeping in your warm bed and for no reason you are being poked and prodded just so some idiot can see if you are awake and move around. Actually now that I think about it Nicole might be able to relate but that is another story. Stay on point please! Anyway usually there is a kick from Nicholas and then he settles and goes quiet. (Well, like mother like son!)

Nicholas it is!!

Well, to follow up on the whole naming process here is confirmation of the name we chose. After church service this past Sunday the pastor took the time to chat with us for a bit. We told him it was a boy and he punched the air jumped up and down and said “Awright, yes!” He has three daughters (and I assume always wanted a son) and just recently got a grandson. I believe he is biased in favor of baby boys.

Then he turned to me and said you are not making him a “junior” are you. We said no not at all and he replied “Oh good because I was thinking Nicholas!!” At this point Nikki and I looked at each other and was like what??!! Of course we never told him that Nicholas was on the table for a name so when he said it we were slightly taken aback. He was like “Yeah, Nicholas” (while looking at Nicole so I guess he wanted the baby named after his mother).

So there. We have confirmation! Nicholas it is!

Dad's attention deficit disorder

(Before reading, please refer to the post about disclaimers by clicking here)

In a follow up to the Couvade Syndrome post, there was a suggestion by the “experts” about fathers to be getting pregnancy symptoms to get attention. Well, I am no psychologist but they did bring up a good point. What about the attention that the dads get? Can dads suffer from Dad's Attention Deficit Disorder (or Dadd get it?? Ha ha )

Now before you go off telling me about who is actually carrying this baby, hear me out. There is no doubt that the expectant mom gets priority on well, just about everything. But I think that the expectant dad should not neglect himself in the process. No, that does not mean joining up with the local rock band weeks before the birth date to (re)discover yourself.

But I suggest two things: make time to talk with your spouse and make sure that you (dad) are on the agenda. But be smart: if she is telling you that she is feeling dizzy and is about to throw up, that is probably not the best time to say “Dammit I don’t feel appreciated around here!” Pick a quiet time. Watch a movie or something (If you choose to watch The Lakehouse and figure it out, let me know) and take the time to communicate. This is quality bonding time for all three parties involved.

Second schedule alone time (and no that cannot be when it is time to hear the heartbeat for the first time or another mile stone event like that). Also, the alone time cannot be for 18 months!

In my case I work on my magazine the Caribbean Business Digest or write about stuff related to the Caribbean community at my other blog.

Addressing the attention dads get is important as it heads off feeling of neglect and resentment. And it makes for a more supportive dad throughout the pregnancy. Just remember dads, in a head to head competition for attention, she comes first! (C’mon ........ that really was clever!!)

Disclaimers

Not sure how to respond to Lisa comments especially when she said something about turning the blog into a book. This is because my own set of circumstances is different and what works for me may not work for someone else. For example, I have a perfect wife (she reads this blog I think), a perfect marriage (I said she READS this blog) and she is having a perfect pregnancy (given the fact that all the real symptoms are not happening to me I can say whatever!)

Seriously, compared to some of the stuff I hear and read other women go through I have it easy as the husband. I don’t get yelled at, hear excessive (for lack of a better word) complaints or catch a skillet upside the head cause I got the family pack butter and not the family pack margarine!.

So here is the disclaimer: anything that sounds like advice is limited to the framework within which I am going through this pregnancy and refer to things that I have learned along the way, and may not apply to every situation (the lawyers insisted that I include this :) )