My favorite picture so far!
Next update will be over the weekend (Saturday morning). By then I hope to post my thoughts on the delivery, just in case anybody is still interested!
And of course some posts about the new addition to my family will be forthcoming as well.
This is a good close up of him.
Mommy and baby are doing well. But both Nikki and myself are both sleep deprived. I try to get up and help whenever she has to breastfeed which seems like every hour on the hour. Hour after hour. Hourly. Each hour. You get the idea.
He is feeding well though and seems to have a voracious appetite. Along with his looks he gets his appetite from me!
He is here. At 6:36 pm. 8 pounds 2 ounces. 21 and 1/4 inches long.
Already he is sucking his finger!
Will post more about the delivery later along with my thoughts. This may take place over the course of several posts. And yes pictures will be forthcoming as well.
Bit hectic but will give an update soon.
Time for a quick update while she sleeps. The doctor gave Nikki some pitocin to help speed the labor along. They checked her this morning and she was still about 2 centimeters. They attempted to break her water and that was painful, for me! Looking on as the medical staff did this, I thought of how primitive and cruel it appeared.
It is impossible to physically feel all the pain she is feeling and I have to assume she is telling me the truth when she talks of the extent of her pain. But I can have no doubt when I see her facial expressions. The pain on her face tells the story as she screamed out loud without any sound at all coming from her mouth. But I heard the scream anyway. Her facial expression gave it away. That tells the whole story more than words.
Somehow though, I still feel her pain, just not physically. I can’t say I am the squeamish type. However I squirmed and cringed a couple of times as I watched. And hearing my wife inquire about what pain medication are available tugs at my very soul. Anything that a Tylenol or Advil can’t cure makes me feel for her terribly.
I said before and will echo it here again; the whole labor and delivery process is intense, invasive, impersonal and intimate all at the same time. Watching the doctor and nurses perform their exams while assaulting that which you consider sacred make me want to yell “What the hell is the matter with you people?”
And this is just the beginning part of it.
A few more observations:
I think the delivery room scene has changed dramatically. Who would have thought that delivery rooms would include a place for Dad to sleep, wireless access, DVD players, cell phones and laptop for texting and emailing?
Labor and delivery is synonymous with torture. On top of all that pain she is feeling she can’t eat or drink. I am sure she is hungry since she has not eaten all day but she cannot have any food until the baby is born. Ice chips and sips of water are all that she can have. Great deal of pain, denial of food, administering drugs and the occasional sip of water seems like a tactic for torturing spies!
The downtime (time between contractions in the early stages or while she is resting) is difficult for me and frankly drives me nuts. I am sitting here wondering how I can be of help and trying not to annoy my laboring wife.
Nurses have been great. Talk about a career that makes a difference. They have been so patient with me so far. I have gone a least ten times already to the nurses’ station this morning for a variety of things.
Just going to the bathroom two feet away is quite a task. With all the IV tubes and monitors and a bunch of other things I don’t even know what they are, moving is quite involved.
Not surprised at anything really just in awe. For a guy, this is a totally different experience depending how involved you choose to be.
Not sure if my attempts to be of help makes a difference but I will try anyway to continue being supportive.
Quite a few phone calls. Everyone is offering a word of prayer on our behalf. This is refreshing.
PS: The nurse checked again about 11:30: 3 centimeters. Looks like it is going to be a long day.
From our appointment this morning Nikki is still 2 cm dilated and 50 per cent effaced. So doctor’s orders are that tomorrow is THE day. One way or the other Nicholas will be making his entrance even with some intervention from the medical staff. So we are checking into the hospital from tonight. In fact this blog is being written our very own private hospital room where the birth will take place.
Before we left, we grabbed some Tostitos and salsa dip, Crunch n Munch and a bunch of other snacks; some pillows, checkers, a bunch of DVDs and the laptop of course. Driving here was a bit hilarious just like the other morning when we had the false alarm. It was like a leisurely stroll; none of that mad dashing around that I read about in the various baby magazines or portrayed on television. I think it felt more like we are going on a trip.
When we got to the hospital I grabbed the bag from the car, all five of them. One bag was for the groceries, one for the laptop, and one each for Nikki, Nicholas and I. I had to lug all of these all the way from the parking lot to the third floor while Nikki carried the pillows. One bag around my neck, one over each shoulder, one hand dragging the Pullman and the other bags clutched in the other hand. (Okay Nikki could have carried at least one bag but I refused because it makes for a better blog entry!)
Anyway we are now checked in the hotel room (I mean hospital room), watching tv and set to get some rest for the big day tomorrow. This is it, for real this time.
The calls are pouring in. Everyone expects something to happen soon. While we wait I think I should expound on an earlier post about the due date myth. I found out that there are really two due dates. One due date is based on the ultrasound results while the other is based on the date of the last menstrual cycle. I think that due date in general refers to the date determined by the last menstrual cycle (don't quote me on that).
The due date of November 20 was based on the last menstrual cycle. But based on the ultrasound the due date was the 23rd. So depending on what you chose to use, Nicholas is either 2 or 5 days past the due date.
Which leads me back to my earlier conclusion that due dates are useless, unless of course the baby actually comes on that date. In fact, only five per cent of babies actually come on the due date.
Nicholas is showing no sign of being ready to be born. I suppose it is only fair since we don't have that "feeling" like Nikki will be going into labor anytime soon. I am not sure how we should be feeling but Nikki is still very much active. Sure, there is the nesting theory to which I alluded earlier but she has been in this mode for over a week. Just yesterday she was making some more banana bread and fried dumplings and singing Bob Marley's "Stir It Up." I don't remember the nesting period extending for more than a week in anything I read.
Well, I can't say that I blame Nicholas for delaying his arrival. Think about it. Do you voluntarily check out of all-inclusive hotels (or cruises for that matter)? You know, the ones where there is food all day long, you can toss the towels on the floor for someone else to pick up and you basically live in grandeur. So I ask you again, do you check out voluntarily or do they have to get some 300 pound over sized man-tank named Tiny to throw you out? That is why Nicholas is so hesitant to leave. He has all-inclusive accommodations all to himself where he enjoys fried dumplings with callaloo and salt fish or ackee and salt fish or oxtails and rice and beans. If he leaves he will have only milk. Though the packaging is appealing who wants to give up all that exotic foods and luxury?
Well Nicholas is still not here yet but I do have a story to tell. This morning around 2am Nikki poked me in the ribs to say she has been having contractions and feeling as if we should call the doctor. I remembered that we should time the contractions so I got my cell phone which doubles as a stop watch and timed the contractions. They were less than three minutes apart so we made the call. He asked some questions and they said come on in!
Driving to the hospital at about three in the morning felt just like we were going on an early morning stroll. It seemed no different than going to the mall or just hanging out. Well, we got there and Nikki was wheeled in a wheelchair. We checked in and she was hooked up to a series of monitors that tracked the baby’s heart rate and the strength of the contractions. Turns out the contractions were pretty mild, kind of like a level two on a scale of one to ten. But they were consistent both in terms of time and intensity. She was hooked up to some IV and that seemed to make the contractions intensify.
Well as they monitored Nikki and the baby, I was sitting there in a rocking chair taking in the scene. The nurse, who was quite nice and thought this was “it”, had a bunch of forms that needed to be signed and questions that needed to be answered. I don’t understand why they choose this time to ask questions and sign forms. With labor pains and having a bunch of tubes attached, signing forms seems like the last thing that should be on anyone’s mind. And, none of the questions were directed at me except when she asked “what is the name of your husband?”
Well the nurse eventually told us to get some rest (okay, she told Nikki to get some rest) at about 4 am or so. Well, Nikki tried to get some sleep though I doubt she got much while I tried to nap on the little sofa in the room. That was a bit uncomfortable (next time I need to bring a pillow) but I got some shut eye anyway. I woke up to voices in the room around 8:15am.
The doctor showed up. He did an exam and said that we are still 2 centimeters and that despite the contractions (which by now had stopped) we experienced false labor. So we were sent home. The explanation was that we may have had a touch of dehydration that caused the contractions and the IV gave her the necessary fluids that re-hydrated her. We left the hospital shortly after 8:30.
So still no Nicholas but at least we had a dry run. I did tell Nicholas he cannot show up on this Saturday because the soccer games were on (though with Manchester United losing and Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool winning it really was a cruel morning). So he was just following instructions.
In between the monitoring of the heart rate and contractions and the nurse coming in and out of the room, I sat quietly taking in the scene. I remember thinking that the process is so invasive; impersonal and intimate at the same time.
And surreal. Definitely a hint of surrealism. The whole time I sat there it just didn’t feel like this was the time. So when the doctor sent us home I wasn’t totally surprised. I was worried there for a moment that Nikki would get emotional but she seemed to take it in stride and was fine.
It also felt surreal because I was so calm throughout the process. It didn’t feel like we were having a baby. There was no rushing around frantically like a chicken without a head. There was no forgetting the wife and making it half way to the hospital before I realize it. Well it was a dry run. Let’s see what happens when it is the real thing!
While we wait, the phone calls are pouring in as friends and family call in, expecting that Nicholas would have made his much anticipated entrance by now. And what is more funny is that if someone calls and there is no answer, the assumption is that we are in labor and calling the hospital is the next step.
This has brought up an unexpected situation. When Nikki does go into labor, I (in my new role as Communications Director) will have to spread the news. One bit of advice that I received was to have a V.I.P list of people to call. Problem is that everyone will want to be on this list. Not sure how I will notify everyone while getting to the hospital and attending to my laboring wife. Talk about challenges.
Hopefully I will do a good job keeping the information flow going. Thank God for technological advances. With email, cell phones, text messaging and the Internet, I am sure that I can keep everyone up to date. Heck, I am even planning on blogging from the delivery room. (Honey hold off on the next push until I make this post!).
Meanwhile somehow I find the wait mildly exciting. Sure we are all anxious but Nikki and I are taking it in stride. We still do movies and other things that are not too demanding on her legs. In fact, for a couple that is expecting any day now, we are quite active. I figure if we have to wait on the little tiger, we should enjoy ourselves while at it.
Will make another update later.
That's right; we are still waiting.
Next update will be tomorrow morning unless we go into labor tonight in which case I will make a post before leaving for the hospital. I will also bring the laptop and make some posts in between pushes.
Happy and Safe Thanksgiving to all.
We did not go into labor during the night. So still nothing. Oh, but we did practice our pushing last night. Here is the sneak peek:
In my best drill sergeant voice: "Come on Maxwell, you push that baby out of there. For crying out loud, everyone is waiting to see this baby. What's the matter with you! Push! You are supposed to be having a baby not trying to be one! One, two three go go go! You call that a push I've seen cats push harder than that!"
Obviously I take my coaching role seriously!
Later we will review our breathing exercises and our labor dance.
Hurry up and wait. That seems to be the order of the day. It is funny how we rush to get things in place before his due date. Installing the car seat, assembling the furniture and the countless other details are meticulously put in place. And yet the due date arrives but only carries with it more anticipation. So we wait.
And while we wait, I take the time to reflect. I am not over anxious or nervous as time winds down. My only concern is Nikki getting through labor and childbirth. The traumatic effect that childbirth has on the body is not lost on me and I am really hoping that it will go smoothly.
But, just like Nikki I can't wait to meet Nicholas. If only he would show up!
I will type another update tomorrow to let you all know whether we went into labor during the night. Who knows, I may even post a few blogs from the delivery room!
Well, today is the due date but Nicholas is not here yet. At last count, the doctor said we are now 2 centimeters dilated but still 50% effaced. Nikki thinks she will go into labor on Thursday which is Thanksgiving Day. She is of the opinion that Nicholas wants to make his entrance on this particular day so she is trying to let him know that Thanksgiving Day will not always be on the 22nd of November. So far it looks like Nicholas is not paying attention.
From all indications, pregnant women close to labor go through a nesting phase where they may clean the house, or do all the laundry or something along those lines. Well I think we had our nesting phase. On Saturday, I had to run out for a bit and when I came back the house had the unmistakable aroma of chicken fresh out of the oven. And then on Sunday, she baked some more. Not only chicken but some really really sumptuous banana bread. For the last two days this wonderful scent punctuated the house. That is two days in a row. For someone who hasn't cooked in over a year that can only be attributed to the nesting phase.
In most of my pregnancy readings, I always see a caveat that reads something along the lines of “All pregnancy are different and different women will react differently”.
That rang true for me when a week ago me and Preggers rendezvoused for lunch at a nearby Chinese restaurant. The waitress that tended to us was pregnant but she was hustling and bustling up and down the restaurant taking orders, bringing out food and taking care of her patrons.
We asked her the typical question that everyone asks pregnant women “When are you due?” Turns out this pregnant waitress is past her due date. Her due date was two days ago. But you would never know it. She was a-hopping skipping and a-jumping all over the place. I found that amusing considering that Nikki cannot walk two feet without being totally exhausted!
PS We went back a few days after and was told that she had given birth!
39 weeks! The natives are getting restless. Nikki is just about ready to give birth. In fact, I think she has lightened some; just a tad bit. But according to the doctor we visited today, we are 50% effaced and 1 centimeter dilated. Sounds familiar? Those are the exact specs as the last time I posted an update. In essence, the boy has not moved one bit. The talk around the water cooler is that Nicholas is aware that the due date is November 20 and he is sticking to it so as not to throw his dad off!
Despite the endless wait for Nicholas’ arrival, I think that I will still be caught off guard when Nikki goes into labor. As it stands, I am now so comfortable with Nikki being pregnant that it sometimes escapes me that she is due to give birth soon. I have gotten used helping her get off the bed or just to get up (I have a routine for that now), her needing a Zantac or Tums, going to the doctor visits and all the other things that comes with being a supportive husband.
Ironically, while I am stuck in this mode, Nikki is counting down the days to delivery.
Some more updates for you:
Latest doctor’s appointment revealed that Nikki is still one centimeter dilated but the cervix is 50% effaced. For a vaginal delivery, the cervix must be 100% effaced (or thinned out) so she is half way there.
One reader, Tracy, made this comment:
Mario,Will there be a post pregnancy blog? These are quite interesting readings
Well Tracy, thanks for the nice remark. As far as the question itself about a post pregnancy blog is concerned, I have thought about it. However, I cannot wrap my mind around the purpose and scope of such a blog. For example, will it be a baby blog (with all the cute baby moments) or will it be a daddy blog (talking about fatherhood)? Or both?
And, at how long will that blog run for? When Nicholas is a year? Two years? When he is walking and talking? Once clarity emerges concerning these issues and more, then I can decide if I will write a blog after Nicholas is born and what form it will take.
In the interim, if you, my beloved readers wish to weigh in on the subject please feel free. I would love to hear what form and duration you think a post pregnancy blog should take.
Post your comments to this entry.
Remember that reader I told you about that demanded more frequent updates? Click here.
Well, Nikki and I dropped in on her and her family the other day. During the visit, her son walked up to me in the middle of a discussion and out of the blue, he said: “You are going to have two babies.”
I started to panic thinking he meant twins. But, he continued: “First a boy, and later a girl” Well thank goodness. At least he didn’t think we were having twins, but he seemed pretty sure that we were going to have a girl later down the road.
In the back of my mind though I think Nikki put him up to it………
A few nights ago, Nikki mentioned some tightening in the stomach area. I am sure you guessed what my diagnosis was; yes, Braxton Hicks. But I was right. The tightening she experienced was in fact contractions that according to my reading are nature’s way of preparing the body for the real labor experience. However, for a brief moment while these contractions laid siege to my darling wife’s uterus, we did think that this was the real thing. I was sure that the moment of truth was upon us. In fact, she said to me “Go to sleep Sweetie and I’ll wake you up if it continues.” But, after she got up and walked around for a bit, the contractions subsided.
Well, we were put on notice. At this point in the pregnancy we realized she could give birth at any time. While the baby’s bag was all packed, ours were not. So at 1 a.m. in the morning, we packed our bags. Nikki took about a half an hour to pack her stuff, but it took me less than three minutes to get my stuff in place. What else is new?
I think I should dispel a few myths here while I have the time. First is the 9 month myth. Growing up and even while an adult, I was always under the impression that a pregnancy lasts 9 months. Well nine months equal 36 weeks (4 X 9). Well, Nikki is now 37 and a half weeks. So under the 9 month rule we should have given birth by now, Turns out that a pregnancy is in fact 40 weeks. Yes that is 10 months. I have been wrong all these years by a whole month.
Second is the full term myth also known as the due date myth. A full term baby is about 37 weeks depending on the source of your information. That’s right; not forty as we learned in the prior paragraph. If the baby can be born at 37 weeks, what is the point of having a due date? You get this due date of say November 20, so on November 19 at 11:59 pm you gear up because when the clock strike midnight it is now the 20th and the baby will be born. Well not so because the baby can be born up to two weeks before the due date and still be considered full term. In that context, a due date is completely useless unless the baby is actually born on that day.
Aren't you glad you have me to break things down for ya?
With our due date being so close, at least one reader is vehemently requesting more frequent updates. I will do my best to accommodate.
The pregnancy has been great. From my point of view anyway. The adverse symptoms are few. A few instances of aches and pains and indigestion and occasional bouts of vomiting are some of the symptoms we have to deal with in recent weeks. But I still maintain that we have a good pregnancy.
Well, I didn’t mention one other symptom. An episode of hormonal crying. That may not be the technical name for it but that is how I will describe it. Here is what happened. Nikki told me she was a little bit sad but did not know why. I brushed it off basically. That was until I realized that she was crying. Now I have been married for 2 years and some. I know that occasional hormonal challenges are part and parcel of the relationship. On those occasions a remedy of avoidance does the trick. A couple days later everything is fine. But, that medicine would not work since we are expecting. I have to ensure that nothing is wrong.
So I inquired about what she is feeling and she told me she is worried about the baby. This is easy enough I thought. Tell me what you are worried about and I will tell you why you should not be worried. So she started. The baby isn’t moving. I am like what are you talking about he was doing the tootsie roll a few minutes ago. Then, what if he is not healthy? The doctors run a barrage of tests. If something was wrong we would know by now.
What if the umbilical cord is wrapped around his neck? Okay on this one I almost burst out laughing. I would have laughed except for two reasons. One, I would be sleeping on the roof until Christmas ..... 2008.
The second reason? What if she is right? How do we know the cord isn’t wrapped around the baby’s neck? That seemed like a pretty logical concern. I can’t remember what I said at the time but I convinced her that the cord is not around Nicholas’ neck, got her to take a shower and tucked her in. Everything was fine.
Well, as I am typing this post I realize why the cord could not be around his neck. As he grows the room to maneuver is not that big. He cannot wriggle himself around so much as to tangle himself in the cord anymore. And the last ultrasound the cord wasn’t there so I think we are okay until time to deliver. Not scientific by any means but at least if this comes up again, I have a readymade explanation!
I went to the final childbirth class on Tuesday night where the topic was newborn parenting. Looking back at all the classes we attended, I don’t think we learned a lot of new information. Most of the stuff we had garnered at various stages in life especially being around babies before. But the classes put all the information in one place and served as timely refreshers.
I noticed something I thought was interesting. Half the class was men. All the ladies brought the fathers along. Even the breastfeeding class. I was certain I would be the only guy at that one but was wrong. Nikki won that bet. Not sure why I am surprised at the amount of men that show up for these classes (especially since I went to all of them). I knew it was important to Nikki that I go but I also wanted to go and not just out of obligation. It was actually quite cool. And natural. The presence of the other dads didn’t make me feel out of place in a setting that is usually dominated by moms.
Back to the newborn class. We had baby sized dolls that served as babies. We got a girl which we called Olivia. I picked the baby in the air like a trophy (drew a few laughs from the audience too). But when Nikki held Olivia, the instructor commented about her being an expert and holding the baby perfectly. Showoff!
Anyway, as the class unfolded, the instructor attempted to embed in us the amount and cost of baby diapers. In her calculation she said about 10 or 12 diapers per day, five day per week four weeks a month. At this point I am thinking wait a minute. Five days a week? What? Do babies take weekends off? I don’t think the instructor even realized what she said. Completely misspoke on that one. But she did say something I agree with. She mentioned that the perfect items to put on registries are boxes of diapers. I suggested that to Nikki but she ignored it. Oh well………. Too late now.
Lately Nikki has been feeling a bit of discomfort in the lower stomach area. Now, I learned that false labor contractions will occur to prepare the body for the real thing, a condition known as Braxton Hicks. So every time she says something I am like “Oh that’s Braxton Hicks”. If she says I have a headache my diagnosis is yup you guessed it Braxton Hicks!
