My favorite picture so far!
Next update will be over the weekend (Saturday morning). By then I hope to post my thoughts on the delivery, just in case anybody is still interested!
And of course some posts about the new addition to my family will be forthcoming as well.
This is a good close up of him.
Mommy and baby are doing well. But both Nikki and myself are both sleep deprived. I try to get up and help whenever she has to breastfeed which seems like every hour on the hour. Hour after hour. Hourly. Each hour. You get the idea.
He is feeding well though and seems to have a voracious appetite. Along with his looks he gets his appetite from me!
He is here. At 6:36 pm. 8 pounds 2 ounces. 21 and 1/4 inches long.
Already he is sucking his finger!
Will post more about the delivery later along with my thoughts. This may take place over the course of several posts. And yes pictures will be forthcoming as well.
Bit hectic but will give an update soon.
Time for a quick update while she sleeps. The doctor gave Nikki some pitocin to help speed the labor along. They checked her this morning and she was still about 2 centimeters. They attempted to break her water and that was painful, for me! Looking on as the medical staff did this, I thought of how primitive and cruel it appeared.
It is impossible to physically feel all the pain she is feeling and I have to assume she is telling me the truth when she talks of the extent of her pain. But I can have no doubt when I see her facial expressions. The pain on her face tells the story as she screamed out loud without any sound at all coming from her mouth. But I heard the scream anyway. Her facial expression gave it away. That tells the whole story more than words.
Somehow though, I still feel her pain, just not physically. I can’t say I am the squeamish type. However I squirmed and cringed a couple of times as I watched. And hearing my wife inquire about what pain medication are available tugs at my very soul. Anything that a Tylenol or Advil can’t cure makes me feel for her terribly.
I said before and will echo it here again; the whole labor and delivery process is intense, invasive, impersonal and intimate all at the same time. Watching the doctor and nurses perform their exams while assaulting that which you consider sacred make me want to yell “What the hell is the matter with you people?”
And this is just the beginning part of it.
A few more observations:
I think the delivery room scene has changed dramatically. Who would have thought that delivery rooms would include a place for Dad to sleep, wireless access, DVD players, cell phones and laptop for texting and emailing?
Labor and delivery is synonymous with torture. On top of all that pain she is feeling she can’t eat or drink. I am sure she is hungry since she has not eaten all day but she cannot have any food until the baby is born. Ice chips and sips of water are all that she can have. Great deal of pain, denial of food, administering drugs and the occasional sip of water seems like a tactic for torturing spies!
The downtime (time between contractions in the early stages or while she is resting) is difficult for me and frankly drives me nuts. I am sitting here wondering how I can be of help and trying not to annoy my laboring wife.
Nurses have been great. Talk about a career that makes a difference. They have been so patient with me so far. I have gone a least ten times already to the nurses’ station this morning for a variety of things.
Just going to the bathroom two feet away is quite a task. With all the IV tubes and monitors and a bunch of other things I don’t even know what they are, moving is quite involved.
Not surprised at anything really just in awe. For a guy, this is a totally different experience depending how involved you choose to be.
Not sure if my attempts to be of help makes a difference but I will try anyway to continue being supportive.
Quite a few phone calls. Everyone is offering a word of prayer on our behalf. This is refreshing.
PS: The nurse checked again about 11:30: 3 centimeters. Looks like it is going to be a long day.
From our appointment this morning Nikki is still 2 cm dilated and 50 per cent effaced. So doctor’s orders are that tomorrow is THE day. One way or the other Nicholas will be making his entrance even with some intervention from the medical staff. So we are checking into the hospital from tonight. In fact this blog is being written our very own private hospital room where the birth will take place.
Before we left, we grabbed some Tostitos and salsa dip, Crunch n Munch and a bunch of other snacks; some pillows, checkers, a bunch of DVDs and the laptop of course. Driving here was a bit hilarious just like the other morning when we had the false alarm. It was like a leisurely stroll; none of that mad dashing around that I read about in the various baby magazines or portrayed on television. I think it felt more like we are going on a trip.
When we got to the hospital I grabbed the bag from the car, all five of them. One bag was for the groceries, one for the laptop, and one each for Nikki, Nicholas and I. I had to lug all of these all the way from the parking lot to the third floor while Nikki carried the pillows. One bag around my neck, one over each shoulder, one hand dragging the Pullman and the other bags clutched in the other hand. (Okay Nikki could have carried at least one bag but I refused because it makes for a better blog entry!)
Anyway we are now checked in the hotel room (I mean hospital room), watching tv and set to get some rest for the big day tomorrow. This is it, for real this time.
The calls are pouring in. Everyone expects something to happen soon. While we wait I think I should expound on an earlier post about the due date myth. I found out that there are really two due dates. One due date is based on the ultrasound results while the other is based on the date of the last menstrual cycle. I think that due date in general refers to the date determined by the last menstrual cycle (don't quote me on that).
The due date of November 20 was based on the last menstrual cycle. But based on the ultrasound the due date was the 23rd. So depending on what you chose to use, Nicholas is either 2 or 5 days past the due date.
Which leads me back to my earlier conclusion that due dates are useless, unless of course the baby actually comes on that date. In fact, only five per cent of babies actually come on the due date.
Nicholas is showing no sign of being ready to be born. I suppose it is only fair since we don't have that "feeling" like Nikki will be going into labor anytime soon. I am not sure how we should be feeling but Nikki is still very much active. Sure, there is the nesting theory to which I alluded earlier but she has been in this mode for over a week. Just yesterday she was making some more banana bread and fried dumplings and singing Bob Marley's "Stir It Up." I don't remember the nesting period extending for more than a week in anything I read.
Well, I can't say that I blame Nicholas for delaying his arrival. Think about it. Do you voluntarily check out of all-inclusive hotels (or cruises for that matter)? You know, the ones where there is food all day long, you can toss the towels on the floor for someone else to pick up and you basically live in grandeur. So I ask you again, do you check out voluntarily or do they have to get some 300 pound over sized man-tank named Tiny to throw you out? That is why Nicholas is so hesitant to leave. He has all-inclusive accommodations all to himself where he enjoys fried dumplings with callaloo and salt fish or ackee and salt fish or oxtails and rice and beans. If he leaves he will have only milk. Though the packaging is appealing who wants to give up all that exotic foods and luxury?
Well Nicholas is still not here yet but I do have a story to tell. This morning around 2am Nikki poked me in the ribs to say she has been having contractions and feeling as if we should call the doctor. I remembered that we should time the contractions so I got my cell phone which doubles as a stop watch and timed the contractions. They were less than three minutes apart so we made the call. He asked some questions and they said come on in!
Driving to the hospital at about three in the morning felt just like we were going on an early morning stroll. It seemed no different than going to the mall or just hanging out. Well, we got there and Nikki was wheeled in a wheelchair. We checked in and she was hooked up to a series of monitors that tracked the baby’s heart rate and the strength of the contractions. Turns out the contractions were pretty mild, kind of like a level two on a scale of one to ten. But they were consistent both in terms of time and intensity. She was hooked up to some IV and that seemed to make the contractions intensify.
Well as they monitored Nikki and the baby, I was sitting there in a rocking chair taking in the scene. The nurse, who was quite nice and thought this was “it”, had a bunch of forms that needed to be signed and questions that needed to be answered. I don’t understand why they choose this time to ask questions and sign forms. With labor pains and having a bunch of tubes attached, signing forms seems like the last thing that should be on anyone’s mind. And, none of the questions were directed at me except when she asked “what is the name of your husband?”
Well the nurse eventually told us to get some rest (okay, she told Nikki to get some rest) at about 4 am or so. Well, Nikki tried to get some sleep though I doubt she got much while I tried to nap on the little sofa in the room. That was a bit uncomfortable (next time I need to bring a pillow) but I got some shut eye anyway. I woke up to voices in the room around 8:15am.
The doctor showed up. He did an exam and said that we are still 2 centimeters and that despite the contractions (which by now had stopped) we experienced false labor. So we were sent home. The explanation was that we may have had a touch of dehydration that caused the contractions and the IV gave her the necessary fluids that re-hydrated her. We left the hospital shortly after 8:30.
So still no Nicholas but at least we had a dry run. I did tell Nicholas he cannot show up on this Saturday because the soccer games were on (though with Manchester United losing and Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool winning it really was a cruel morning). So he was just following instructions.
In between the monitoring of the heart rate and contractions and the nurse coming in and out of the room, I sat quietly taking in the scene. I remember thinking that the process is so invasive; impersonal and intimate at the same time.
And surreal. Definitely a hint of surrealism. The whole time I sat there it just didn’t feel like this was the time. So when the doctor sent us home I wasn’t totally surprised. I was worried there for a moment that Nikki would get emotional but she seemed to take it in stride and was fine.
It also felt surreal because I was so calm throughout the process. It didn’t feel like we were having a baby. There was no rushing around frantically like a chicken without a head. There was no forgetting the wife and making it half way to the hospital before I realize it. Well it was a dry run. Let’s see what happens when it is the real thing!
While we wait, the phone calls are pouring in as friends and family call in, expecting that Nicholas would have made his much anticipated entrance by now. And what is more funny is that if someone calls and there is no answer, the assumption is that we are in labor and calling the hospital is the next step.
This has brought up an unexpected situation. When Nikki does go into labor, I (in my new role as Communications Director) will have to spread the news. One bit of advice that I received was to have a V.I.P list of people to call. Problem is that everyone will want to be on this list. Not sure how I will notify everyone while getting to the hospital and attending to my laboring wife. Talk about challenges.
Hopefully I will do a good job keeping the information flow going. Thank God for technological advances. With email, cell phones, text messaging and the Internet, I am sure that I can keep everyone up to date. Heck, I am even planning on blogging from the delivery room. (Honey hold off on the next push until I make this post!).
Meanwhile somehow I find the wait mildly exciting. Sure we are all anxious but Nikki and I are taking it in stride. We still do movies and other things that are not too demanding on her legs. In fact, for a couple that is expecting any day now, we are quite active. I figure if we have to wait on the little tiger, we should enjoy ourselves while at it.
Will make another update later.
That's right; we are still waiting.
Next update will be tomorrow morning unless we go into labor tonight in which case I will make a post before leaving for the hospital. I will also bring the laptop and make some posts in between pushes.
Happy and Safe Thanksgiving to all.
We did not go into labor during the night. So still nothing. Oh, but we did practice our pushing last night. Here is the sneak peek:
In my best drill sergeant voice: "Come on Maxwell, you push that baby out of there. For crying out loud, everyone is waiting to see this baby. What's the matter with you! Push! You are supposed to be having a baby not trying to be one! One, two three go go go! You call that a push I've seen cats push harder than that!"
Obviously I take my coaching role seriously!
Later we will review our breathing exercises and our labor dance.
Hurry up and wait. That seems to be the order of the day. It is funny how we rush to get things in place before his due date. Installing the car seat, assembling the furniture and the countless other details are meticulously put in place. And yet the due date arrives but only carries with it more anticipation. So we wait.
And while we wait, I take the time to reflect. I am not over anxious or nervous as time winds down. My only concern is Nikki getting through labor and childbirth. The traumatic effect that childbirth has on the body is not lost on me and I am really hoping that it will go smoothly.
But, just like Nikki I can't wait to meet Nicholas. If only he would show up!
I will type another update tomorrow to let you all know whether we went into labor during the night. Who knows, I may even post a few blogs from the delivery room!
Well, today is the due date but Nicholas is not here yet. At last count, the doctor said we are now 2 centimeters dilated but still 50% effaced. Nikki thinks she will go into labor on Thursday which is Thanksgiving Day. She is of the opinion that Nicholas wants to make his entrance on this particular day so she is trying to let him know that Thanksgiving Day will not always be on the 22nd of November. So far it looks like Nicholas is not paying attention.
From all indications, pregnant women close to labor go through a nesting phase where they may clean the house, or do all the laundry or something along those lines. Well I think we had our nesting phase. On Saturday, I had to run out for a bit and when I came back the house had the unmistakable aroma of chicken fresh out of the oven. And then on Sunday, she baked some more. Not only chicken but some really really sumptuous banana bread. For the last two days this wonderful scent punctuated the house. That is two days in a row. For someone who hasn't cooked in over a year that can only be attributed to the nesting phase.
In most of my pregnancy readings, I always see a caveat that reads something along the lines of “All pregnancy are different and different women will react differently”.
That rang true for me when a week ago me and Preggers rendezvoused for lunch at a nearby Chinese restaurant. The waitress that tended to us was pregnant but she was hustling and bustling up and down the restaurant taking orders, bringing out food and taking care of her patrons.
We asked her the typical question that everyone asks pregnant women “When are you due?” Turns out this pregnant waitress is past her due date. Her due date was two days ago. But you would never know it. She was a-hopping skipping and a-jumping all over the place. I found that amusing considering that Nikki cannot walk two feet without being totally exhausted!
PS We went back a few days after and was told that she had given birth!
39 weeks! The natives are getting restless. Nikki is just about ready to give birth. In fact, I think she has lightened some; just a tad bit. But according to the doctor we visited today, we are 50% effaced and 1 centimeter dilated. Sounds familiar? Those are the exact specs as the last time I posted an update. In essence, the boy has not moved one bit. The talk around the water cooler is that Nicholas is aware that the due date is November 20 and he is sticking to it so as not to throw his dad off!
Despite the endless wait for Nicholas’ arrival, I think that I will still be caught off guard when Nikki goes into labor. As it stands, I am now so comfortable with Nikki being pregnant that it sometimes escapes me that she is due to give birth soon. I have gotten used helping her get off the bed or just to get up (I have a routine for that now), her needing a Zantac or Tums, going to the doctor visits and all the other things that comes with being a supportive husband.
Ironically, while I am stuck in this mode, Nikki is counting down the days to delivery.
Some more updates for you:
Latest doctor’s appointment revealed that Nikki is still one centimeter dilated but the cervix is 50% effaced. For a vaginal delivery, the cervix must be 100% effaced (or thinned out) so she is half way there.
One reader, Tracy, made this comment:
Mario,Will there be a post pregnancy blog? These are quite interesting readings
Well Tracy, thanks for the nice remark. As far as the question itself about a post pregnancy blog is concerned, I have thought about it. However, I cannot wrap my mind around the purpose and scope of such a blog. For example, will it be a baby blog (with all the cute baby moments) or will it be a daddy blog (talking about fatherhood)? Or both?
And, at how long will that blog run for? When Nicholas is a year? Two years? When he is walking and talking? Once clarity emerges concerning these issues and more, then I can decide if I will write a blog after Nicholas is born and what form it will take.
In the interim, if you, my beloved readers wish to weigh in on the subject please feel free. I would love to hear what form and duration you think a post pregnancy blog should take.
Post your comments to this entry.
Remember that reader I told you about that demanded more frequent updates? Click here.
Well, Nikki and I dropped in on her and her family the other day. During the visit, her son walked up to me in the middle of a discussion and out of the blue, he said: “You are going to have two babies.”
I started to panic thinking he meant twins. But, he continued: “First a boy, and later a girl” Well thank goodness. At least he didn’t think we were having twins, but he seemed pretty sure that we were going to have a girl later down the road.
In the back of my mind though I think Nikki put him up to it………
A few nights ago, Nikki mentioned some tightening in the stomach area. I am sure you guessed what my diagnosis was; yes, Braxton Hicks. But I was right. The tightening she experienced was in fact contractions that according to my reading are nature’s way of preparing the body for the real labor experience. However, for a brief moment while these contractions laid siege to my darling wife’s uterus, we did think that this was the real thing. I was sure that the moment of truth was upon us. In fact, she said to me “Go to sleep Sweetie and I’ll wake you up if it continues.” But, after she got up and walked around for a bit, the contractions subsided.
Well, we were put on notice. At this point in the pregnancy we realized she could give birth at any time. While the baby’s bag was all packed, ours were not. So at 1 a.m. in the morning, we packed our bags. Nikki took about a half an hour to pack her stuff, but it took me less than three minutes to get my stuff in place. What else is new?
I think I should dispel a few myths here while I have the time. First is the 9 month myth. Growing up and even while an adult, I was always under the impression that a pregnancy lasts 9 months. Well nine months equal 36 weeks (4 X 9). Well, Nikki is now 37 and a half weeks. So under the 9 month rule we should have given birth by now, Turns out that a pregnancy is in fact 40 weeks. Yes that is 10 months. I have been wrong all these years by a whole month.
Second is the full term myth also known as the due date myth. A full term baby is about 37 weeks depending on the source of your information. That’s right; not forty as we learned in the prior paragraph. If the baby can be born at 37 weeks, what is the point of having a due date? You get this due date of say November 20, so on November 19 at 11:59 pm you gear up because when the clock strike midnight it is now the 20th and the baby will be born. Well not so because the baby can be born up to two weeks before the due date and still be considered full term. In that context, a due date is completely useless unless the baby is actually born on that day.
Aren't you glad you have me to break things down for ya?
With our due date being so close, at least one reader is vehemently requesting more frequent updates. I will do my best to accommodate.
The pregnancy has been great. From my point of view anyway. The adverse symptoms are few. A few instances of aches and pains and indigestion and occasional bouts of vomiting are some of the symptoms we have to deal with in recent weeks. But I still maintain that we have a good pregnancy.
Well, I didn’t mention one other symptom. An episode of hormonal crying. That may not be the technical name for it but that is how I will describe it. Here is what happened. Nikki told me she was a little bit sad but did not know why. I brushed it off basically. That was until I realized that she was crying. Now I have been married for 2 years and some. I know that occasional hormonal challenges are part and parcel of the relationship. On those occasions a remedy of avoidance does the trick. A couple days later everything is fine. But, that medicine would not work since we are expecting. I have to ensure that nothing is wrong.
So I inquired about what she is feeling and she told me she is worried about the baby. This is easy enough I thought. Tell me what you are worried about and I will tell you why you should not be worried. So she started. The baby isn’t moving. I am like what are you talking about he was doing the tootsie roll a few minutes ago. Then, what if he is not healthy? The doctors run a barrage of tests. If something was wrong we would know by now.
What if the umbilical cord is wrapped around his neck? Okay on this one I almost burst out laughing. I would have laughed except for two reasons. One, I would be sleeping on the roof until Christmas ..... 2008.
The second reason? What if she is right? How do we know the cord isn’t wrapped around the baby’s neck? That seemed like a pretty logical concern. I can’t remember what I said at the time but I convinced her that the cord is not around Nicholas’ neck, got her to take a shower and tucked her in. Everything was fine.
Well, as I am typing this post I realize why the cord could not be around his neck. As he grows the room to maneuver is not that big. He cannot wriggle himself around so much as to tangle himself in the cord anymore. And the last ultrasound the cord wasn’t there so I think we are okay until time to deliver. Not scientific by any means but at least if this comes up again, I have a readymade explanation!
I went to the final childbirth class on Tuesday night where the topic was newborn parenting. Looking back at all the classes we attended, I don’t think we learned a lot of new information. Most of the stuff we had garnered at various stages in life especially being around babies before. But the classes put all the information in one place and served as timely refreshers.
I noticed something I thought was interesting. Half the class was men. All the ladies brought the fathers along. Even the breastfeeding class. I was certain I would be the only guy at that one but was wrong. Nikki won that bet. Not sure why I am surprised at the amount of men that show up for these classes (especially since I went to all of them). I knew it was important to Nikki that I go but I also wanted to go and not just out of obligation. It was actually quite cool. And natural. The presence of the other dads didn’t make me feel out of place in a setting that is usually dominated by moms.
Back to the newborn class. We had baby sized dolls that served as babies. We got a girl which we called Olivia. I picked the baby in the air like a trophy (drew a few laughs from the audience too). But when Nikki held Olivia, the instructor commented about her being an expert and holding the baby perfectly. Showoff!
Anyway, as the class unfolded, the instructor attempted to embed in us the amount and cost of baby diapers. In her calculation she said about 10 or 12 diapers per day, five day per week four weeks a month. At this point I am thinking wait a minute. Five days a week? What? Do babies take weekends off? I don’t think the instructor even realized what she said. Completely misspoke on that one. But she did say something I agree with. She mentioned that the perfect items to put on registries are boxes of diapers. I suggested that to Nikki but she ignored it. Oh well………. Too late now.
Lately Nikki has been feeling a bit of discomfort in the lower stomach area. Now, I learned that false labor contractions will occur to prepare the body for the real thing, a condition known as Braxton Hicks. So every time she says something I am like “Oh that’s Braxton Hicks”. If she says I have a headache my diagnosis is yup you guessed it Braxton Hicks!
Nikki insists that the baby will be born early. She thinks it will be about two weeks early (or she would like it to be). But, the due date is November 20 and I tell everyone who will listen that the date is etched in my mind. I am mentally set for the 20th of November and any deviation from that date will completely throw me off.
She also insists that she has lightened (or dropped). This is where the baby has descended into the pelvic area and in position for delivery. Well, she has been that way for two weeks now as everyday for the past two weeks she asks me (tells me rather) that she has dropped.
We packed Nicholas’ bags over the weekend. We have a going home outfit, a onesie, three layettes, three hats, mittens, some swaddler thingeys, receiving blankets, burping cloths, some towels, and what resembles baby shoes. And that is just what I can remember.
I haven’t packed my stuff yet and neither has Nikki. But Nicholas is all set. His bag is sitting right next to the door in his room.
Remember that breast feeding class that I posted about recently? Well, I couldn’t skip out on it and believe me I tried. But, as with most of the classes I enjoyed attending. My only regret was that I wasn’t feeling well that day. Being ill, I couldn’t pay attention as I wanted to.
The class was informative. I always thought, how hard could breast feeding be? Baby is hungry, mommy has breasts with milk in them, baby grabs some titties and start feeding. Easy right? No, not quite. Latching problems are actually real. So we learned how to do and more importantly learned that we need to be patient in the process. We learned about the feeding process through different stages as the baby gets older. Good information.
The instructor toward the end of the class asked if there are any questions. Audaciously, I raised my hand and asked at what age we can give baby Nicholas a chicken leg. See, for me that is a milestone. A right of passage if you will.
Nothing will say Baby more than seeing him running around the house with a chicken leg half as big as he is with two top front teeth and one bottom one.
Been a while since I last posted. I wanted to ensure that the baby room pictures stay on the main page for a good while. So now back to the updates.
We went to the store several days ago and Nikki wanted to pick up some baby books. The books are earmarked for the shelf that I have been putting off for weeks (hence the delay in the baby room pictures). When we got to the checkout line we realized that one book costs over ten dollars.
Maybe you guys didn’t hear me the first time. I said the baby book (read: “See Jane run” with a couple of pictures scrawled on the page) costs TEN DOLLARS! To put things into perspective Nikki got me a Tom Clancy book months ago that I am yet to read that costs like five or six dollars. If I can publish a few of these baby books I can retire in a couple years’ time.
I feel compelled to point out that a library card is free and there is a library right down the street. Every Saturday morning I will take him there and read to him for hours. Failing that I have no problem reading the Clancy spy thriller to him. So if he is talking about covert operations at three years old, we know where it comes from.
Picture 1 of 10
Ten pictures are posted. They should do a good enough job of capturing the room.
I had to post them one at a time so you will have to click on 10 different posts.
Sorry about the virtual tour. The video file we have is too large to upload but the pictures should work just fine.
You can pull up all the picture posts by clicking on the label "pictures" below since over time the posts will go off the first page.
We are now at 36 weeks. Very soon, the doctor visits will be weekly. Nikki is probably ready for the baby to be born. So am I. I think I am at the corner of Excited Avenue and Anxious Street. Although from my vantage point I have fleeting glimpses of Apprehensive Lane.
The caution evolves from the ever growing realization that I hold the responsibility of raising a man in today’s world. If that is not enough to make you sit up and take stock I don’t know what will. Even though I embrace this awesome responsibility, from time to time I reflect on how I will do as Nicholas’ father.
Well, I think we will pack the bags for the trip to the hospital within the next week or so. I can’t recall all the things that we need to include so I have some homework to do. I am sure Nikki can rattle off all the things necessary but I am a tad bit slow. (Work with me here).
Speaking of the trip to the hospital, I remember watching some movie a while back where the dad tears off to go to the hospital and almost forgot his wife. I cringe at that thought and hope feverishly I don’t fall into that category.
Remember that post about the T-shirt I saw in the store that said “Mommy’s new man”? Well I posted that I bought that shirt. Well Nikki pointed out that I did not in fact buy the shirt. So this is my idea of a retraction. But I am still concerned about being replaced. So I am still conditioning my mind about the impending relegation.
I know that there have been some grumblings over the lack of photo of the baby’s room. One request was also for a virtual tour. I did promise weeks ago to put pictures up. But, I have done my part for the baby room. I put together all the furniture and have them arranged and everything. But Nikki insists that something is missing from the room. Well duh Nicholas is not here yet! But if she says something is missing who am I to argue. Hopefully I will get the go ahead soon. And I am putting the blame for the delay firmly on the shoulders of the responsible party: Nicholas’ mother!
I believe we are ready mentally (and physically) for Nicholas to arrive. Sure, the sleepless nights are not on the top of my list of things that I look forward to but the excitement is now reaching palpable proportions. Interestingly one of the things that I am looking forward to the most is having Nicholas lie on my chest. Having that tiny body close and feeling the short sharp breaths with the little chest heaving is just awesome. I still remember vividly doing that with Angeline and I can’t wait to have Nicholas do the same. Some books claim that babies like to hear the rhythmic heartbeat but for me it was (and will be) one of the most powerful feelings in the world.
Today (which is Columbus’ Day) we had a CPR class. Of all the classes that we are attending I particularly wanted to attend this one. I think we still have an infant care class and a breastfeeding class remaining. Just between us, I will try my best to wiggle out of the breast feeding class but as it stands I have been registered. I will keep you posted on that.
A side benefit of attending the CPR class was the harsh realization that I need to do some dry runs to the hospital. Yes, I did get a little bit lost on my way there. (I take solace that Columbus got lost too and look where he ended up) Well, I know where the hospital is. But, there is like ten different entrances to the one place. And I got a little confused for a bit. But I stuck with it and ended up getting there and learning a bit. I hope I will never have to use anything I learned in this class though but the knowledge in the event it is necessary is in fact priceless.
I find it quite amusing that when Nikki gets ready to eat Nicholas starts to move. We sat down to eat one day and paused to have a brief conversation and he was just all over the place. It was as if he couldn’t understand the reason for the delay and was telling us to hurry up. It is just amazing, to me anyway. Also, he seems to be awake in the mornings now. Nikki joked that he wakes her up in the mornings. I would rest my hand on her stomach and just feel him run wild. Beyond words. The entire childbirth process is nothing short of a something to be marveled at and certainly appreciated.
We are now about 33 weeks and the closer we get to the November 20th date the more reflective I get. I find myself thinking more about the challenge of parenting and how different things are from when I was growing up. I am actually working on writing a couple pieces about my thoughts on this. Not sure if I will post them though but it is proving quite insightful. Suffice it to say I have moved from the young person that grown ups don't understand to the being the grown up that kids don't understand.
And the pictures are coming soon. The room is pretty much complete I think. I just need the final approval from Management (Nikki !)
Well I have finished putting all the pieces of furniture together (crib, glider, dresser and changing table). It was exhilarating and I like to gaze futuristically at the furniture strewn in the room without any particular order to it yet. We still have to put the borders up and add some decorating touches to it but the room as it stands tells a story in and of it self.
This weekend should see the finishing touches put in so for those who have been clamoring for pictures you may get a peek Monday or so. Unless Nikki decides to come up with something else. Like getting block letters that spell Nicholas’ name to hang in the room. So please be patient!
Oh interesting tidbit here. I was sent to the Baby Depot with instructions to pick up some block letters that spells out N-I-C-H-O-L-A-S. So I get there and located where these items are and then start to dig through to find the 8 letters. As I find each letter I put them on a table behind me (really, when I said I had to dig for them, I really had to dig). I realized after thorough searching that I only had four letters and I looked at the table behind me and the four letters that I had found spelt N-O-A-H. Not sure that Nikki would go for that but it would have made an interesting story when he grows up and ask how we decided what name to give him.
More on the birthing class. While we were in the class our instructor was telling us (Dads) about what goes on in the delivery room. She said that there is one doctor who, while in the delivery room would commandeer the dad to help with the delivery. So instead of Dad holding Mom’s hand and encouraging her to push, he would be taking a front row seat saying something like “ten centimeters, I can see the top of his head, keep pushing!”
Nikki is totally enjoying the pregnancy and I am anxiously awaiting the end of this voyage. As Nicholas waits to make his entrance in this world, we were busy attending a couple of classes in the past week. There was a meet and greet session at the pediatrician’s office. As part of gearing up for the big day we were encouraged to choose a pediatrician now and not wait until the baby is born. Good advice I believe. This physician came highly recommended and I could see why. Nice and relaxed. He made the group feel at home and put all anxieties to rest. So now that we have a pediatrician we are comfortable with, that is one less thing to worry about. I can’t say that I learned anything new per se. But I have a doctor that I like.
We also had a childbirth class which I was a bit skeptical about at first. I thought we would have gotten a member of the Man-Hating Gestapo unit for an instructor but it turned out okay. The instructor was a nurse; old school, who has seen it all and basically understood all the concerns from around the room. She was more helpful than she first appeared and was more than willing to explain everything as patiently as she could. I was actually happy that I went and felt good about us choosing this particular hospital. It seems willing to be as accommodating as possible. I was delighted to learn that the baby will be in the same room as Nikki the entire time she is admitted. That is nice as I sometimes hear stories of babies going missing or accidentally switched.
The class helped us understand what our choices are relative to the hospital policies. We watched a video of a live birth and it was well………….. interesting. I am not particularly squeamish (I hammer up drywall and go deer hunting for fun) but I had to shift around in my seat a few times. Our now darling instructor pointed out that one reason men didn’t have babies was that the pelvic region does not support the birthing process. I thought the comment was funny because as I watched the video I thought there was more to it than that. But who am I to second guess.
The most important thing I learned at the class was what I should be expected to do during labor and delivery. What is that you ask? Freak out.
Although fainting would also be a nice touch…………..
I have come up with a little tune to complement and describe the new dance move that is invading the Maxwell household. It is called The Waddle.
My Jamaican (or Caribbean brethren for that matter) might just be able to put a beat to it.
Here it is……… sing along
Dis is de new dance Nikki find again
Around the house and around the bed
The Waddle is the name and the title
Done by all the pregnant people
It’s my fault my wife love it so
Here’s what you do
Push out yuh belly
Like you having a baby
Put yuh hands on yuh hips
Like yuh gonna trace somebody
Throw your head back
Breathe in deeply
Shimmy to the left
And then slide your body
Shimmy to the right
Curse out yuh husband properly
Grab him by the shirt
Don’t injure him bodily
But let him know
Him responsible for your body
Take it from top
New dance Nikki find again………..
That’s all I have. Clearly I have too much time on my hands but you try driving more than an hour each way to work and see the crap you come up with.
I know I wrote on this before but I thought I would touch on it again. Couple days ago I said to Nikki that I was not feeling too great. I described the symptoms by saying I feel a tad bit dizzy. Not overly so. Imagine you were spinning around and around until you get dizzy. Now imagine recovering from the initial dizzy feeling. That is what I felt like. Not totally dizzy just a slight touch of it. Then I told her that I felt fatigued. Not tired because I was doing this or that, just a feeling fatigue. There were more symptoms but I can’t remember them right now.
She started laughing and said Honey, you are having sympathy symptoms again. As it turns out I was really describing how she felt. She had all those symptoms. Weird.
Nikki is totally addicted to baby clothes. She cannot go anywhere without picking up some cute outfit. Now, she can’t walk from here to there without being tired but she has just enough energy to get another outfit for Nicholas. This is despite me telling her to knock it off. She bought him a little leather jacket as part of an outfit that look like he belongs on a Harley. So, since she does not listen to me I put my request in. I want to get a little suit (shirt and tie) for him to wear to church. The perfect little gentleman!
I already have the dresser assembled. I spent the past weekend doing that. Still have a ways to go but I must admit it was a thrill to put it together. Took me all day to get it done but I did it. I had a sense of accomplishment that was made even more sentimental because it will be in the nursery. So as it stands, I have a freshly painted room with curtains and a dresser. Progress. Definitely progress.
The funny thing about finishing the dresser is that Nikki already has some baby clothes to put in there. She was folding a couple onesies and some cute little outfits. As much as I tell her to quit buying these things (addict!) it is nice to open the closet and see the little outfits hanging there. I opened the closet door a few days ago and there they were lined off and hanging. Little outfits! I am thinking, when did she buy these things? I think she sneaks away to get them. And there is a shirt that says “Mommy’s new man!”
Am I being replaced? Now that is disconcerting and I will have to definitely have a stern talk with young Nicholas. I take exception to being phased out. He needs to go get his own girl!
Well at this point it is a waiting game. I am waiting to go to those childbirth classes, waiting to go on the hospital tours, waiting to meet with the pediatrician and of course waiting for the blessed day. Problem? We are still in the 7th month. So there is a bit of waiting left. I am behind schedule on the assembling of the furniture and Management (Nikki) is getting more and more anxious amidst my procrastination. So, I bribe her by giving her back and foot rubs. Seems to work. No complaints out of her.
Nikki enjoys watching these various child birth programs on The Learning Channel. We usually see a couple leading up to the date of delivery, from labor to delivery and a follow up a few days after to check in on the new baby and family. It is a nice program to watch as we go through preparations. Nikki tapes these and watches these enthusiastically. Me? Well I can watch only one every couple of days at best. There is only so much “ooohh and aaaah that is so cute” that I can handle so I generally limit my viewings. But, each time I watch I can’t help but to think about how tangential the dad’s role is. I swear that the dad’s job is just to stay the hell out of the way and not get in the way of the team that is swirling into action. There was one episode I remember where the wife was pushing and yelling and yelling and pushing and the dad to be was in a corner watching until the baby finally emerged and the doctor announced it was a boy. The dad then jumped in the air raised both arms and shouted “yes” like he just scored a touchdown. As for me I will be doing the tootsie roll!
I have finally completed the painting of Nicholas’ room and will get started on the assembling of the furniture this coming week. I must say it is a nice feeling getting the room ready even though I still insist that I am doing the painting and stuff for Nikki and not Nicholas. See, my take is this: Nicholas couldn’t care less about the color of the room and its theme. So aside from a crib, the entire room is really for Mommy.
And Daddy. I find myself secretly glancing back from time to time with a lingering stare at the room whenever I walk past it. Not only am I admiring my handy work but also just pausing long enough to process the significance of the room. What it represents. Its symbolism. Pretty soon there will a baby in there hollering for attention!
I find it funny that we are taking the time to meticulously put the room together perfectly. I doubt we will be able to keep it like that once he gets here though.
This should have been posted last night for my Wednesday post but I was too tired. A few things before I get into it: The painting is completed; I just need to cleanup now and start putting the furniture together. I took down the polls since no one was voting for my stuff; not the names or the theme so down it came!
This past Labor Day we went to get a 4D sonogram done. The experience was awesome. We go there and of course Nikki didn’t need any invitation to hop onto the bed and prepare for the sonogram. The deal was that we would get pictures on a CD and a DVD where we could see him moving as if we are watching a movie. Like I said Awesome! Although at some points I could not make out what was on the screen. They had this huge screen and music playing in the background to give you a really nice feel to the exam. So I made myself comfy and sat back and watched the show.
The techs first had the image in 2D just like a regular sonogram and then switched over to the color fancy stuff. We asked them to tell us what the sex of the baby was and they obliged. A boy was the reply and they showed where the scrotum sac was along with the penis. Of course I couldn’t make out crap so I just took their word for it! When they switched over to the 4D we were able to make out his features. His head was resting against the placenta as if he was getting ready to go to sleep and didn’t want to be disturbed. The techs claimed if he moved away from the placenta the image would be better but we thought it was good enough. We could see his face somewhat clearly. His eyes, chin and lips were all evident. Nikki claims he has her lips and chin. At one point he was rubbing his eyes. He may have been crying because we interrupted his sleep. Another time he seemed to be sucking on something which we thought to be the umbilical cord (the end attached to the placenta) and then he seemed to be trying to suck his finger. We could see his hand moving towards his mouth. I will have to have a stern talk about this finger sucking thing.
No amount of cajoling could get Nicholas to move away from the placenta though. Walking around or gently poking mommy’s tummy wasn’t working. Nikki pointed out that he is like me in that regard. See, I am the only person I know that will not do something simply because someone may expect me to. So, he knew that we wanted him to move away from the placenta and this is reason enough for him not to. Stubborn? Perhaps, but that’s my boyyyyy! I will try to post a picture from the 4D thing on my Sunday night post.
On a more reflective note, it is quite a humbling experience to see the baby still in the mother’s womb. I suppose with being unable to feel the kicks firsthand like mothers do, this is as close as us dads can come to the romantic side of a pregnancy short of the baby actually being born. So as I sat there I was truly excited and amazed in a subdued way. This occasion really didn’t call for the backslapping or patting on the back as sometimes accompanies the daddy’s involvement. It was more of a marvel and a blessing of nature (and science) to see Nicholas sufficiently developed and very much human presumably doing the things that babies birthed would do only this time still inside the womb. It made me so much more appreciative of the joy we are experiencing now and that will continue long after birth.
Today on our way home we stopped by the baby store to pick up a couple of items that Nikki claimed we needed. While Nikki was busying herself picking out the items she wants I took the time to have a seat in the gliders that the store has on display and it was while waiting that I figured out how marketers go about marketing their products and how their strategy extends to baby products. Here is my theory. With any product a marketer has to make the product appeal to something that is considered sacred. With baby products, the marketers chose to appeal to expectant moms and their unborn child. Nothing is more sacred than this. These wily marketers then position their products where the expectant mom feels she must have this product for her child. These masters of deception also know that the expectant dad dare not object to these items for fear of what the irrational expectant mom will say.
Here is part two of their strategy. They take each product and place it into one of four categories: necessary, useful, cute and you-want-me-to-buy-what? Now the trick is to get each product into the necessary and cute categories from the useful and the you-want-me-to-get-what? since every product starts in the latter two. So take a crib. Many years ago it was a useful item at best and then it became cute with all the decorations. Now it is just an absolute necessity. And now take a valance. That is clearly a you-want-me-to-get-what? item. But somehow it is now in the cute category. And so it is with every product. Armed with this knowledge I refuse to be caught into their trap.
So much so that on my way out of the store I snatched up an outfit that I absolutely loved (khaki pants and a top) and one of those onesies with the phrase “Mommy’s alarm clock” written on it. Why did I do so? Well they were just too cute! I really hate those darn marketers!
Well things are getting quite hectic as we approach the November due date. We have bought the baby furniture which includes the crib, dresser, changing table and rocking chair glider. I should have those put together throughout the course of this week. We are also set up to have a newborn and infants class at the hospital this month. October will see us attended a variety of classes including childbirth class, breastfeeding, infant cpr and newborn care. I think Nikki has made the childbirth class mandatory but I think I have been given a free pass on the breastfeeding one.
And I have started the painting of the baby’s room. After changing her mind for the umpteenth time about the color of the room Nikki finally settled on a color and I went to work. It will take a bit longer than I had thought since I have to do a second coat of paint. So I hope to finish it maybe by midweek. We’ll see. My Wednesday post should tell that story. Though tiring I am actually enjoying the preparation thus far
There apparently is a movement towards raising children without the use of diapers. Click here for the link to that story. I came across this on MSNBC. Not sure if there are any merits to this so you be the judge. If you have been keeping up with my posts you would no doubt guess that I might give this idea some thought. This idea of diaper-free childrearing would save a boat load on diapers and wipes. So what if you have to clean up the occasional mess or two. Maybe well worth it to give it a try.
I am now undertaking the task of preparing Nicholas’ room. Someone pointed out that if we are going to paint and stuff we should try to do it well in advance of his birth so that the fumes would have dissipated so we are well on schedule. Last couple of nights saw me taking measurements of the room since we are going to put in some sort of borders and molding, and covering over the outlets and other areas in preparation of painting. Of course if I had my way all we would need is a couple of wall posters with Manchester United paraphernalia on it but that is another story.
Minor glitch when I took the measurements though. You see, I had my blank paper all lay out and I drew the diagram of each wall and had notations for where the windows were and each outlet etc. Then I took the measurements and wrote them in. Yes I was quite the expert standing there with my tape measure and pen and paper looking at my handy work feeling quite proud. Never mind the fact that the real work is painting and putting up the molding and such. But I was feeling good. Was about to grab a beer to celebrate my efforts when I took one last look at the diagrams I had meticulously drawn.
As it turns out, the back wall and the front wall had two different measurements! See, the room is pretty much rectangular so any two opposing sides should have the same dimensions. Needles to say there was a slight problem with the measurements that I had to remedy.
That is precisely why I am an accountant!
Nikki informed me the other day that she had completed the registry and asked me to take a look. So I did and of course gave her some words of wisdom. I pretty much told her that the registry should be very simple and consist of pretty much three items: diapers, wipes and formula. Think about it. All the fancy schmancy stuff is not really needed. Let us take the gifts in the area it is most useful. So if I had any say in it our registry would take about two minutes to complete. She spent a fortnight (okay not really but it makes for a better story, big words and all). And the items on it would not be so lengthy.
It has now been 28 weeks since we became pregnant. Time certainly flies! The baby movements are now more pronounced and he seems to be making full turns rather than just mere kicking. The other night though the movements I felt were quick stabs and Nikki informed me that he has the hiccups. Of course me being me, I think that he was just excited to feel my hand on mommy’s tummy………
Nowadays my vocabulary now includes words such as trimester, epidural, castor oil (isn’t that the brand of engine oil?) to name a few. Funny, I always heard that you should try and expand your vocabulary. Just didn’t think that I had to increase the human population to accomplish that……….
I have to admit that from time to time I think about the adjustments that have to be made with having children. It is not really scary just calls for some adjustments to be made. Traveling for example is different when children are included (although you can’t blame the children for the joke that is called air travel). But even going to the store is an adventure let alone out of state or country. And losing sleep. That is probably the biggest adjustment that will have to be made. Hope we get a sleeper. If he takes after mom or dad then Nicholas will definitely be a sleeper. :)
What other adjustments am I missing? Come on! Tell me so that I will have no surprises. Help a daddy out!
Shopping for baby furniture is by no means a simple task. And it is even made more complicated by the ineffectiveness of the store clerks and inventory systems that we came across. Often times we inquire about the availability of certain items and are told we have one left but it might have been sold already.
[Ahem, well which is it? You have one left? Or has the last one already been sold? No doubt you must have paid a bunch of money for whatever inventory system you have and that is the best it can do? Was all the stuff we learned about perpetual inventory limited to the classroom and not applicable in the real world?]
Anyway, even though by now we have a pretty good idea of what we want we may have to go to different stores to get them since no store has a complete set of anything.
Having said all that, it is quite exciting looking for furniture for the nursery. And of course at times the imagination runs amok and I can pretty much see Nicholas holding onto the crib and standing up, laughing and reaching up for me to pick him up. (All that money for the crib boy you’d better stay in it!).
Or I imagine he is sitting in his crib playing with his toys.
Quietly.
A true Kodak moment!
Nicole and I have very different views about decorating Nicholas’ room so maybe we should put the poll to work. She wants some Pooh decorations. Click below to view:
Mommy's Pooh Theme
On the other hand I prefer something a bit more …….ahem ……..colorful. Click to below to view:
Daddy's Soccer Theme: Theatre of Dreams
My soccer club, Manchester United plays at the Theatre of Dreams. How fitting for baby Nicholas' room as he dreams about watching soccer on Saturdays with Daddy and having me teach him the game............. Appropriate? Most certainly I must opine.
Check out the new poll………..
Whose idea do you prefer Mommy with Pooh or Daddy with Manchester United Football Club: Theatre of Dreams……………….
It is so funny. Nicholas and I have these “talks”. I put my hand on Nikki’s tummy and he taps it (high five). I push gently on her tummy and he pushes back. That is so awesome. And when he hears my voice he starts moving around. I even put the remote on her tummy and watch him rock it back and forth. But on one occasion he moved so forcefully that I heard Nikki yell “ouch” he moved so hard that it hurt her for a bit.
So, I had a talk with him and told him to knock it off.
He didn’t listen though. Hope that is not indicative of things to come.
Someone call the FBI! I need to report a heist of staggering proportions.
So we went shopping over the weekend for baby furniture and man, that is the greatest heist they have going on except for the Ocean’s Eleven caper! The prices of baby furniture are ridiculous! I was whining so much I feared Nikki was going to do one of those tearful “You don’t care about our baby!” outbursts that no guy wants to be the cause of.
So I had to preempt the situation by saying "Sweetie, it is not that I don’t want nice stuff for Nicholas’ room but I am thinking long term and trying to make sure that college is taken care of etc” She didn’t buy it though (my argument that is) and basically I still have to bite my tongue and get some of those overpriced furniture. We didn’t get them this weekend only because the stupid clerk had us there for hours only to say : “Ah sir, we don’t have any in stock!” I was elated for all of two seconds until Nikki calmly pointed out that there is a store not too far away…………………… Hate when she does that.
But back to my rant about furniture: changing table (you can change him on the bed), crib (he can sleep on our bed), chest of drawers (just how much stuff does he need). There, just saved us a whole bunch of money!
Now I am going to go figure out how to get into this baby furniture business!
I finally convinced Nikki to let me post this picture.
I think this is at about 26 weeks.
(And for those in the know, this is not a start of a Love Pic series, but just borrowing the title from the Love Thursday crowd :) )
At my current job, one of the owners brings in her son to work from time to time. When I started he was only about 5 months and now he is about 10 months old. The growth is awesome. From being in his mother’s hand to now pushing stuff all over the place in his quest to get around is just, well interesting. As I am typing this he just tore past my door pushing on a large file storage box with wheels to keep his balance. Now he cant walk without support yet but his little legs are pumping, working over time to get from point A to point B. Seeing him makes me think of how Nicholas will develop at each stage and of course I cant wait. And as the lady at my job pointed out to me, it will soon be my turn!
Okay, I have been extremely busy this past few days and neglecting my duty to update this blog. I have been putting my magazine in an online format which was really cool but time consuming. (Click here to view).
But, here it is I have about 5 or so new posts so read on. And oh yeah, Nicholas should be about 2 pounds now if the weekly updates I get are in fact correct and still kickin' up a storm.......
Dear Ardent Readers
A development came to me recently that I find most troublesome. Questions of general well being in the past focused on Mommy. But now those questions are aimed more about Baby. Notice there is never any question of how Daddy is doing hence the self diagnosed disorder called DADD referred to in a previous post. But Daddy rationalized this by saying instead of being in the picture or even the picture frame, he will be contented to be the picture frame support. True nobody ever sees the picture frame support but the picture frame does not work without it. But now Mommy has become, as a church lady pointed out would happen, the picture frame whereas Baby is now the picture. And alas, I am not sure I can handle this being the case. The reasons for my worry are outlined below.
Dad’s Attention Deficit Disorder is DADD for short but Mother’s Attention Deficit Disorder spells MADD. Oh boy, this we cannot have. We cannot have Mommy being pregnant and MADD at the same time. So please help me out and let us put mommy back in the picture shall we?
Sincerely
Picture Frame Support
Dear Picture Frame Support,
If Mommy suffers from MADD, tell her to start a blog!
I thought that this was way too important to keep buried in the comments section so I will give it its own post. Nicholas' granddad adding some more history on the name we chose. Check it out.......
Stephen (Nicholas' Grand-Dad) said...
When I learned that the baby’s first name would be Nicholas, I thought this to be really emblematic, as this was also the maiden name of Mother. I have been asked to include this name on just about every credit application I have made in this county. This means that from time to time when making an enquiry about my account, I have been asked to state my mother’s maiden name before any information is given to me. Very recently at work, I was setting up an online account, which would enable me to make withholding tax payments for the company to the State of Pennsylvania, and had to include the name Nicholas on the account.
Constantly I am using the name Nicholas. Obviously, when this baby arrives, I will be using the name even more. Naturally I am trilled that he is going to be named Nicholas. It is reasonable to say that the baby is not being named only after his mother, but also after his great grandmother.
A couple of folks thought that the blog was a nice idea. Here is an email I received from a friend recently to that effect:
Dear MM: I love it!!!! I think it's great that you are doing this, and it's nice that we get to "share" the experience with you through your writing. Keep it up.
I feel as if I'm getting another "grand child" by association.
TMOP
Thought that was nice
A vital lesson for all dads and all dads to be: Any (and I mean any) interest, attention, excitement or dialogue towards baby earns some massive points from mom.
Seriously, this blog is like the best thing ever. I could be a jackass for the rest of the year and still live off of the points this blog has earned me. To the point where she is now posting on the blog. I have to tell her “go get your own blog”
Flashback moment: when I created the blog I overheard her on the phone telling someone about it. She was about to tell them the web address and I hung around cause I was sure she would get it wrong and I would need to correct her. Sure enough she got it right to my surprise. See, I have my other blog for over a year and she doesn’t know the address nor even read one post. She doesn’t even know the name of the blog! But, one entry on the baby blog and you are in the money. For life!
So repeat after me: Any interest, attention, excitement or dialogue towards baby earns some massive points from mom.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
So yesterday Nikki had an appointment and she told me that Nicholas would not keep still when the tech was doing the exam and sonogram. Turns out that she had eaten breakfast (and some righteous coconut drops) before going so he was quite active. And sure enough she made the tech verify again that the baby was in fact a boy! (Only the good LORD knows what I would do if she had said Uhmm remember we said it was a boy? Well make that 2 boys! Okay that is not even funny.)
At one point, Nikki said Nicholas was kicking so hard the Doppler thing fell off her stomach. Wish I was there to have seen it. But I got a glimpse of it last night as was indicated by Nikki’s post. Of course we didn’t get a good sonogram pic to post on here which sucks.
Speaking of pics, Nikki won't let me post the belly shot we took a few nights ago. We have a pic of her at 5 weeks and now at 25 weeks. Angeline’s comment was that she looked like there is big kickball in her stomach at which point I told her she was not helping. So no sonogram pic and no belly shot.
Last night, something extraordinary happened. The thought of it is even still so surreal. Here I was lying comfortably on the bed watching some “law and order” when suddenly without warning I felt Nicholas strolling around in my womb. That in and of itself is customary, the extraordinary part was when I glanced down at my stomach and saw my belly moving around in sync with his movements. I absolutely froze. My heart started racing and I was completely immobilized. Feeling him is one thing – seeing it is completely another. I wanted to run downstairs to show Mario or to scream out for him to come up, but I just couldn’t move – and I didn’t want to move. I wanted to tell someone but the phone was out of my reach; I just needed some other pair of eyes to witness this amazing event. My emotions were somewhere between apprehension and anxiety. I wanted it to stop but then I didn’t want it to stop, so I just laid there and watched as my belly mimicked the movements of a Polynesian dancer.
Finally, Mario came upstairs and I wanted to scream “Honey, quick! Look at my belly!” And I tried, but of course I opened my mouth and the words were stuck somewhere inside. But, thankfully, as I glanced up at him, he seemed to have read my mind, since immediately his eyes moved down to my belly and he saw, what I believe to be the most amazing event in the world – he saw my belly dance to our son’s beat!
Nikki just came back from Jamaica after spending the weekend there. Of course she took Nicholas with her and thus deprived me of my boy for the weekend. (Put another way, “she tek mi pickney an gaan whey a farrin fi de weekend yuh nuh seet!)
Anyways while there she said Nicholas wouldn’t move. She wanted her Mom and Aunt to feel him move but nothing. And even though she was eating all the good food (mango, ackee and saltfish an' breadfruit wid fried dumpling, yeah mon she call an’ a showoff de whole time she dung deh) he wasn’t moving an inch. Of course, she came back and once back in familiar surroundings he starting traipsing all over Mommy’s uterus. Last night as we huggles (that’s a cross between hugs and snuggling), he started moving. Again, Nikki thought that he was moving at the sound of my voice (or because we were talking about him!).
It seems he is developing his own personality but really he was just adding to his daddy’s joy!
I would look at Nikki sometimes and say “I can’t believe we are pregnant” or I would point at her visibly growing tummy and say “Yeah; you are definitely pregnant!” And, often times it does seem surreal. Especially remembering the early stages when we knew we were pregnant but she wasn’t showing. She would look in the mirror and say well my belly isn't showing. Now she looks in the mirror and says my belly has gotten big. (If there is one thing I learned is that pregnant ladies worry about everything. My belly isn’t big, my belly is getting big……….. Okay maybe she isn’t worrying but being observant………. :)
Anyway, she had taken a picture of her belly at 5 weeks I think and now approaching the 25th week she wants to have another belly shot. Hopefully when she does I can convince her to let me post it on here. It should make for an interesting comparison!
Last Sunday we visited a new church close by where we live. This one was small and intimate like we are used to and of course they asked all first timers to stand and introduce themselves. So I stood up with Nikki and Angeline. I introduced myself, then said this is my wife Nicole and daughter Angeline and then quite proudly rubbed Nicole's stomach and said "And this is Nicholas!" This drew a few chuckles of appreciation from the members and the pastor even said "Yes yes that is Nicholas huh. I like that!" Needless to say I stood there all pleased with myself...
An Anonymous poster under Baby Kicks mentioned about the baby moving and kicking. I wondered about that a few nights ago. I asked Nikki if it hurts or feels weird or anything like that. I imagine that as he grows and pushes stuff out of the way the uterus will be growing and stretching to accommodate. Truthfully, thinking about it makes me cringe just a little since I just can’t wrap my mind around it. Truly a miracle this whole child birth pregnancy thing. And why women have the babies I guess……….
Finally Angeline felt the unmistakable movement from Nicholas. Nikki was eating, ice cream I think, and he was just all over the place. That kid would not settle down probably going “Gimme more gimme more!” And all that movement meant there was no way Anga couldn’t feel him. She had this huge smile on her face.
But interesting for me is that Nikki said most times at night as we get ready for bed, she notices that when I speak he moves. Probably in response to hearing daddy. Whether that is true or not, that is what I believe and I am holding on to it. So now we know that Nicholas moves when Mommy eats sweet stuff, ice cream in particular and when he hears Daddy’s voice! So I think every night I will go “Nicholas” in my deep baritone voice……………. (Awright, even I know I don’t have a deep baritone voice but just let me have this one!)
In response to Nikki’s comment under Baby’s First Outfits, while she was dreaming of having the baby and not having any clothes to take him home in, I was busy dreaming that Nicholas and I were getting ready to take on the Italian soccer team (yes the team that won the World Cup last year in Germany). I couldn’t make out Nicholas’ features or even how old he was in the dream but I just knew it was him and I. But, I could make out our opposition. Totti, the super skilled Italian player and Luca Toni, the man-giant were lining up against us in the dream. Was that weird or what!! So while Mommy is worrying about outfits we are getting ready to kick butt!!
Can’t wait for Nicholas and me (pardon the bad grammar) to be watching the soccer games or me explaining the game to him……………..
Feeling the baby move is quite exciting. The other night I felt him move for a while to the point I was wondering if it would prevent Mommy from falling asleep (more on that conversation later). I also think it is funny how when Nicole is eating there is a reaction from the baby. I imagine when there is something sweet involved it moves a little bit more. And I find it interesting that when you put your hand there it moves as if it can sense that there is something there. I would like to think that it knows that it is daddy and needs to move. Of course if there is no movement then the explanation is simple: he is asleep! Nikki told me the other day that he seems to be a little predictable in his movements. Like at certain times of the day he is more likely to move than at other times. I think she said that he moves later in the night and also later in the day while she is at work.
Angeline actually likes to feel the baby move though I suspect she likes the idea of feeling it move. Nicole and I are not 100% convinced that she is actually feeling the baby move but if she says she is then that is fine by me. It keeps her excited and involved in the process. And, most of the times when the baby moves seems to be when Nikki is at work or at night when Angeline is already asleep in bed. But hopefully one day Nicholas will give a nice kick for her to unmistakably say she felt it.
And of course there are times we want to feel it move but it doesn’t cooperate. So from time to time we would apply gentle pressure to Mommy’s stomach to see if we can get a reaction. Sometimes nothing and other times there is what I think is a fierce kick to say “Hey knock it off!” Of course you can’t blame Nicholas now can you?? Imagine there you are sleeping in your warm bed and for no reason you are being poked and prodded just so some idiot can see if you are awake and move around. Actually now that I think about it Nicole might be able to relate but that is another story. Stay on point please! Anyway usually there is a kick from Nicholas and then he settles and goes quiet. (Well, like mother like son!)
Well, to follow up on the whole naming process here is confirmation of the name we chose. After church service this past Sunday the pastor took the time to chat with us for a bit. We told him it was a boy and he punched the air jumped up and down and said “Awright, yes!” He has three daughters (and I assume always wanted a son) and just recently got a grandson. I believe he is biased in favor of baby boys.
Then he turned to me and said you are not making him a “junior” are you. We said no not at all and he replied “Oh good because I was thinking Nicholas!!” At this point Nikki and I looked at each other and was like what??!! Of course we never told him that Nicholas was on the table for a name so when he said it we were slightly taken aback. He was like “Yeah, Nicholas” (while looking at Nicole so I guess he wanted the baby named after his mother).
So there. We have confirmation! Nicholas it is!
(Before reading, please refer to the post about disclaimers by clicking here)
In a follow up to the Couvade Syndrome post, there was a suggestion by the “experts” about fathers to be getting pregnancy symptoms to get attention. Well, I am no psychologist but they did bring up a good point. What about the attention that the dads get? Can dads suffer from Dad's Attention Deficit Disorder (or Dadd get it?? Ha ha )
Now before you go off telling me about who is actually carrying this baby, hear me out. There is no doubt that the expectant mom gets priority on well, just about everything. But I think that the expectant dad should not neglect himself in the process. No, that does not mean joining up with the local rock band weeks before the birth date to (re)discover yourself.
But I suggest two things: make time to talk with your spouse and make sure that you (dad) are on the agenda. But be smart: if she is telling you that she is feeling dizzy and is about to throw up, that is probably not the best time to say “Dammit I don’t feel appreciated around here!” Pick a quiet time. Watch a movie or something (If you choose to watch The Lakehouse and figure it out, let me know) and take the time to communicate. This is quality bonding time for all three parties involved.
Second schedule alone time (and no that cannot be when it is time to hear the heartbeat for the first time or another mile stone event like that). Also, the alone time cannot be for 18 months!
In my case I work on my magazine the Caribbean Business Digest or write about stuff related to the Caribbean community at my other blog.
Addressing the attention dads get is important as it heads off feeling of neglect and resentment. And it makes for a more supportive dad throughout the pregnancy. Just remember dads, in a head to head competition for attention, she comes first! (C’mon ........ that really was clever!!)
Not sure how to respond to Lisa comments especially when she said something about turning the blog into a book. This is because my own set of circumstances is different and what works for me may not work for someone else. For example, I have a perfect wife (she reads this blog I think), a perfect marriage (I said she READS this blog) and she is having a perfect pregnancy (given the fact that all the real symptoms are not happening to me I can say whatever!)
Seriously, compared to some of the stuff I hear and read other women go through I have it easy as the husband. I don’t get yelled at, hear excessive (for lack of a better word) complaints or catch a skillet upside the head cause I got the family pack butter and not the family pack margarine!.
So here is the disclaimer: anything that sounds like advice is limited to the framework within which I am going through this pregnancy and refer to things that I have learned along the way, and may not apply to every situation (the lawyers insisted that I include this :) )
