While she sleeps

Time for a quick update while she sleeps. The doctor gave Nikki some pitocin to help speed the labor along. They checked her this morning and she was still about 2 centimeters. They attempted to break her water and that was painful, for me! Looking on as the medical staff did this, I thought of how primitive and cruel it appeared.

It is impossible to physically feel all the pain she is feeling and I have to assume she is telling me the truth when she talks of the extent of her pain. But I can have no doubt when I see her facial expressions. The pain on her face tells the story as she screamed out loud without any sound at all coming from her mouth. But I heard the scream anyway. Her facial expression gave it away. That tells the whole story more than words.

Somehow though, I still feel her pain, just not physically. I can’t say I am the squeamish type. However I squirmed and cringed a couple of times as I watched. And hearing my wife inquire about what pain medication are available tugs at my very soul. Anything that a Tylenol or Advil can’t cure makes me feel for her terribly.

I said before and will echo it here again; the whole labor and delivery process is intense, invasive, impersonal and intimate all at the same time. Watching the doctor and nurses perform their exams while assaulting that which you consider sacred make me want to yell “What the hell is the matter with you people?”

And this is just the beginning part of it.

A few more observations:

I think the delivery room scene has changed dramatically. Who would have thought that delivery rooms would include a place for Dad to sleep, wireless access, DVD players, cell phones and laptop for texting and emailing?

Labor and delivery is synonymous with torture. On top of all that pain she is feeling she can’t eat or drink. I am sure she is hungry since she has not eaten all day but she cannot have any food until the baby is born. Ice chips and sips of water are all that she can have. Great deal of pain, denial of food, administering drugs and the occasional sip of water seems like a tactic for torturing spies!

The downtime (time between contractions in the early stages or while she is resting) is difficult for me and frankly drives me nuts. I am sitting here wondering how I can be of help and trying not to annoy my laboring wife.

Nurses have been great. Talk about a career that makes a difference. They have been so patient with me so far. I have gone a least ten times already to the nurses’ station this morning for a variety of things.

Just going to the bathroom two feet away is quite a task. With all the IV tubes and monitors and a bunch of other things I don’t even know what they are, moving is quite involved.

Not surprised at anything really just in awe. For a guy, this is a totally different experience depending how involved you choose to be.

Not sure if my attempts to be of help makes a difference but I will try anyway to continue being supportive.

Quite a few phone calls. Everyone is offering a word of prayer on our behalf. This is refreshing.

PS: The nurse checked again about 11:30: 3 centimeters. Looks like it is going to be a long day.